#like i said i am being dramatic like its not that big of a deal
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mkay so
THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME FUCKING UGH THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IF I WASNT FUCKING STUPID URGGHHHHH
#time to elaborate even tho i said i wouldn't#IGNORE THIS bc im just being dramatic but like#basically i liked a guy k and then found out a little later that my friend was dating him#and i was like damn but wtvr yk i'll survive just need to get over it#and im close to this friend so we tell each other a lot of stuff#told me about when they fucked.#she didn't know i liked him bc i never tell ppl that idk it's just embarrassing yk#anyways. fucking details too like#damn that could've been me huh but#in all honesty i would go running for the damn hills if a guy even asked me out#havent been in a relationship since... 2nd grade lmao#even then it was for a month or a week with some 3rd grader i didn't even know#other than that im a guy repleant or smth#like i said i am being dramatic like its not that big of a deal#didn't even know the guy for that long but friend has known him for the past 3 or so years and liked him for around that long#so had no chance + being dramatic + being unrealistic = nyx and her nonexistent love life#did accidentally tell her i used to (maybe used to im still getting over it) liked him after she told me all that#she started apologizing for getting with him like??? anyways i should stop rotting in bed#good morning (it's almost 2 pm)#i think i'm on my period and sick and there's too much stuff to be done today and tmrw good bye. i'm done im done im done
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uggh I'm gonna cry
#i lowkey miss when i had no friends 😭#i got invited to my friends birthday party and i really really didnt want to go#cause theres like 10 other people going and i vaguely know 2 of them#and theyre all kinda mean#like in the way your friends are mean where its clearly a joke#but im not friends with any of them-#qnd like in any other circumstance it would be fine#but its a POOL party#and there was no chace i was putting on a bathing suit and swimming#but i also was not ready to deal with being the weirdo who doesnt swim at a pool party#like i was really dreading this party#so i made some lame excuse#which is technically true#my brother DID break q bone today and my parents ARE being dramatic and i AM gonna have to wait on him#but thats not q good reason not to go#i was just really freaking out about this party#and its prob not a big deal and she definitely doesn't care as much as i think#but i feel so bad for being flaky#plus i already feel like a couple people there dont like me#so if my friend mentions why i didnt go theyre gonna think its a dumb excuse#i should have made something up but i had already said yes cause i couldnt think of anything#and then my parents wrre at the hospital for a really long time so i didnt know what exactly was happening#and i did genuinely think when i texted her that it was more serious and there would be no chance they could take me#qlso they both have stuff to do tomorrow (party day)#and i am actually gonna end up being the one helping him get water and stuff#but it just feels like such a lame excuse#idk#its just when im with these people (the ones going that im not friends with)#i constantly feel like i hace something to prove or theyll think im weird#and its so stressful
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hii! I hope youre doing well ^^ n I have a request!
Fatherhood Gojo, Yuta and Suguru (separate) seeing their daughter have a love interest
let’s say the daughter is like 4-5, just started school with a strong start, one day when they come to pick up their kid— they see a boy that’s also 4-5, giving their daughter flowers or something, how would they react?
(I can imagine mother!reader being delighted at the sight, gojo being dramatic, Yuta being stressed out, and Suguru having a polite smile but yet clenching his fist LMFAO)
“I WILL THROW HANDS AT ANYONE EVEN A KID"
— gojo, sukuna, and suguru seeing their five year old daughter with a love interest (f!reader)
a/n: here you go go <33 i am so sorry bae that I couldn't include yuuta 😭
GOJO SATORU:
your daughter is naturally charismatic.
satoru wholeheartedly believes that it is something she has inherited from him.
you disagree because you can’t remember anybody who remained friends with satoru after actually talking to him, aside from those forced to, of course.
now another thing that satoru believes is that said charisma is a double-edged sword. from one side, his daughter is able to make friends quickly which gives him a piece of mind.
on the other side, the thing that makes his vein pop is the fact that filthy dirt-covered boys approach her.
he thought he had solved that problem when he scared away that last kid during her ballet class , but it seems there are always people who are competing for her heart.
he didn’t expect to run into one today though, especially not one blatantly gifting her a bouquet in front of the school gates.
the kid is a blushing mess as he gives the bouquet to her, and your daughter is nothing less than ecstatic. she jumps around, really happy with her bouquet and squealing about how pretty it is.
the little boy smiles timidly as he fidgets with the hem of his shirt, mumbling something that satoru can’t be bothered to care about.
the only things occupying his mind are two: the kid who dares to even speak to his daughter and you with your cute smile because you’re happy for her.
so, he arranges things as he prioritizes him.
he presses one big smooch to your cheek and squishes you in an ever so love-filled hug.
then he proceeds to make his way to deal with the kid who is making moves on his little baby.
he towers behind the boy, and before his little girl greets him, satoru carries the kid from his scruff and throws him in the ball pit conveniently placed beside him.
the kid screams as he falls into the ball-filled abyss.
hurriedly, he gathers his daughter in his arms and showers her with kisses. he nuzzles his nose into her cheek, “how was your day, honey?”
“it was so nice, papa!” she says happily them gets out the bouquet she was given, “and I even got this bouquet!”
“oh, really?” he hums as he takes the bouquet from her hands into his. he inspects it, distaste filling his expression.
you walk to him with a little pep in your step and place your hand around his shoulder, while you kiss your daughter’s cheek.
she squeals a delightful, “mama!” and throws herself into your arms.
you guys quickly get caught in your own conversations, not noticing satoru quickly releasing his technique blue at the poor bouquet making it effectively disappear from existence.
another day saved.
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
being the daughter of ryomen sukuna had its perks.
people strayed away and kept their distance. however, your daughter was a natural sweetheart—ironic considering her father but anyway.
that meant that little boys around estate had a tiny little crush on her which they would never act upon since they do want to continue living.
of course, there is an exception to the norm.
and that exception came in the form of a little servant boy presenting your daughter with a bunch of flowers that he had plucked himself.
your daughter was taken back, and she got flustered but accepted the flowers, nonetheless. on the other hand, you were watching from the side lines and were cheering both her and the boy on.
it was an innocent little gesture between kids. no harm done, so there was no need for—
“what the hell is this?”
you feel your husband’s menacing aura, before you hear his words. you turn to him and rest your hands on his chest and say, “d/n got flowers! isn’t that cute?”
“I can see that,” he grumbles, pinching your cheek in annoyance then directing his gaze to the kids, “but why the hell is a little good-for-nothing servant approaching my daughter? in fact, these servants should not be allowed to talk to her so casually.”
“sukuna, it’s not that big of a deal. just let them be,” you huff, “it’s not like she will fall in love with him, and he will convince her to overthrow you when they’re older.”
your husband stays quiet for a few moments. the man looks like he is actually considering the scenario that you just suggested.
and judging by him slowly approaching the kids, sukuna is going to go with the “better safe than sorry” approach.
you quickly run after him and jump on his back, “love, love, I was joking! please don’t kill him!”
sukuna groans, “and why should I listen to you?”
“cause you love me, and I love you? and we’re husband and wife, y’know?” you smile nervously, and he sets you down, so he can look you in the eye.
“I don’t love you,” he states.
“so I don’t love you?” you inquire.
he smirks, “no, that’s different. you’re obviously infatuated by me.”
“no, loving you is an effect of you loving me, so according to you,” you turn your back to him, “I don’t love you.”
he is about to retort when he feels something holding onto his leg. he looks down, and he sees his daughter beaming up at him.
she raises the flowers as high as she could and chirps, “dad, I got these flowers!”
sukuna’s eyes snap to where the kid was and finds no one. he fled, and he didn’t get to memorize his face. he slowly turns his face to you, and you stand there smirking at him.
he quirks an eyebrow at you, “oh? well, I will deal with you later tonight.”
GETO SUGURU:
you were busy watching over your daughter playing with her playdate. the little boy was your neighbour’s son, and, in general, he was good company.
the boy was polite and knew how to treat your little girl right. similarly, your little girl cherishes him very much and always rambles about him at dinner.
now, initially, suguru was okay with it.
he thought that maybe she was excited about her playdate and that it would eventually wear off, but then she started talking about him every single day since she met him.
suguru prides himself on being rational and collected. he wouldn’t stoop down to a level that gojo would. gojo was a manchild, but suguru? suguru is a grown man, a husband, and a father.
so, no, he won’t do anything to the boy.
and he certainly isn’t rushing to the playdate location, so he can stop the boy from making his daughter talk about him more.
one of his curses was watching the kids, and said curse picked up on the boy sneaking a flower behind his back. suguru concluded that he was definitely going to give it to her.
your husband finally arrives, handing you your ice cream and kissing the top of your head, “your ice cream, just how you like it, love.”
“aww, thank you, suguru,” you say as you hug him and pepper his face with kisses. suguru gets lost in your affection, forgetting about his supposed mission.
it’s not until that he notices the boy’s parents standing with the two kids that he remembers it.
“how about we go and see what the kids are up to?” he asks you, a bit urgently, and you nod, knowing what your husband is thinking.
it’s lowkey funny.
the boy’s mother takes notice of you two approaching, “oh hello mr and mrs geto!”
“hello miss c/n! are the kids getting along well?” you smile while patting your daughter’s head.
the mother giggles, “more than well, in fact. our little boy has given little d/n a flower today!”
from the corner of your eye, you can see your husband’s smile tighten and his face get stiffer and stiffer by the second.
you take his hand into your own and slowly rub it with your thumb. it does little to calm him down.
he claps his hand lightly and steps in front of the parents and says kindly, “please take your little shi—”
he feels you kick his foot from the back and quickly corrects his wording, “please distance your ki—”
you discreetly stomp on his foot, and he tries his hardest to keep his smile. he sighs defeated and hangs his head low, defeated as he mumbles, “have a nice day.”
you nod in satisfaction, and your daughter giggles.
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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo imagine#jjk imagines#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x y/n#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you
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Hi can i request hawks x reader 📣🔥💋 (im not sure if you write for bnha hawks if not then its fine)
Prompts 📣🔥💋
“Gosh, you smell so good when we cuddle like this!”
“You think I’m jealous? Believe me, you haven’t seen me jealous yet.”
“I desire any physical touch with you so please hit me more.”
⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes
A / N = Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I did not proofread this. Please read my bio before requesting, and make sure that my requests are open or else your request will be deleted. Enjoy <3
«★»———- Yandere Prompt List
«★»———- MHA Hero’s Masterlist
* .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * * .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * . *.:。✧ *゚ ゚・ ✧.。. *.
★ You had just arrived home from a night out in the city with Hawks. In fact , this was the “ first time “ that you had been out in public since Hawks had kidnapped you. Hawks made sure to take you to a LOWKEY bar a couple of cities away from where he originally took you . That way you would have a less chance of being identified , and taken from Hawks
★ You angrily sat the bouquet of flowers that Hawks gave you on the counter. Honestly , Hawks didn’t know why you were so mad at him. The only thing that he did was “ protect “ you against the creepy people at the bar. Yeah sure , he might if broke a couple of jaws , but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Hawks didn’t know why you were acting so dramatic over such a small thing that he did in your honor. ( technically )
★ Suddenly , Hawks snapped out of his deep thoughts when he noticed that you were glaring at him from the other side of the counter. “ What is bothering you my little feather ?” Hawks asked in the nonchalant voice that he always seemed to have. “ I can’t believe you acted like that IN PUBLIC “ , you said with a sharp tone to your voice. “ Maybe if you weren’t so jealous , I would actually enjoy being with you “ you added to your statement. You knew that this would set Hawks off , but you didn’t seem to care one bit.
★ Hawks sighed as he tried to explain why he broke that man’s jaw. Just as he was in the middle of explaining why his actions were justifiable, you interrupted by saying = “ There is no reason for you to act like this you jealous freak “. Before you could even finish your sentence, Hawks walked very close to you , before finally saying “You think I’m jealous? Believe me, you haven’t seen me jealous yet.”
★ Hawks stared at you for a moment longer , before finally saying “ I am going to go finish off that person from the bar “. No matter how hard you tried to pull him back , or change his mind , you found that it was like talking to a wall. That being said , Hawks flew over to the bar , and luckily the person who was hitting on you was still there. Let’s just say they had a funeral planned the next weekend….
★ When Hawks returned home , you could tell what he had done by just looking at him. You immediately started crying when Hawks started to make his way towards you. Once he was in front of you , he slowly picked you up , and took you to the couch where he attempted to snuggle into your arms. You tried to push him off of you by insulting him , but you found that it was no use. Every single time you hit him , he would always respond with the same thing = “I desire any physical touch with you so please hit me more.”
★ Eventually you gave up on trying to fight him. You had also just come to the realization that Hawks would probably never let you leave the house again. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was Hawks softly whispering “Gosh, you smell so good when we cuddle like this!” You knew that you were stuck with him whether you liked it or not .
★ Maybe you should’ve flirted , and danced with the other person at the bar …? Like that would make any difference to a delusional Hawks..
* .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * * .:。✧*゚ ゚・ ✧.。. * . *.:。✧ *゚ ゚・ ✧.。. *.
Thanks for reading , Darling !! <3
Have a nice Day / Night ~
#yandere bnha#yandere hawks x reader#yandere hawks headcanons#yandere hawks#yandere keigo takami#yandere keigo x reader#yandere my hero academia headcanons#yandere my hero academia#yandere mha x reader#teddy yandere#delusional hawks#yandere hawks fan art#yandere headcanons#anime#yandere#hawks headcanons
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₊˚ෆ Favoring Roses Over Daisies - s.qr
♡ ︎sypnosis: daisies will forever and always be boring; they were the former queen’s—your mother’s—favorite flower. however, now that it’s your turn to ascend the thrown, you can’t help that roses are your favorite; just like the blood-red ones embellished on prince ricky’s black suit on the night of your suitor’s ball. but don’t get caught up in the pretty scent and petals, because where there is beauty, there is thorns. ricky is the prince of an enemy nation—and your whole life he has been nothing but a pest. a really pretty one.
♡ ︎genre: royal au, fantasy/magical, fluff, angsty, prince!ricky, fem!reader, prince!hanbin side pairing, enemies to lovers, forbidden love, the dramaaa
♡ 7.0k word count (i’m not sorry)
♡ ︎warnings: cursing, mentions of readers father passing away, misogyny mentioned, kinda angsty and dramatic, playful threats, please let me know if you’d like me to add any!
♡ ︎nano note: i know this is long asf, but i am not even the slightest bit sorry. been thinking about prince ricky for the longest and i just had to quench my forbidden love needs. feedback and fangirling in the replies w/ me is greatly appreciated! xoxo
.♡.
“Look at you…so beautiful.” Your mother said, standing behind you as you sat on your bench in front of your vanity. She placed a lavish gold crown on your head carefully, using pins to secure its place.
You manage to shoot her a faint smile.
Your older sister had dropped off the face of the earth when you were teens, and now that you’re becoming of age, you were the only heir able to be crowned.
It felt bittersweet.
Never once in your life did you ever want the title. You grew up thinking it was always out of touch because of your place as second to the thrown. And you were fine with that. You grew with the mindset that it was never yours to begin with and let your sister take reign.
You’d sigh in relief when she would be pulled away from your play dates for classes on her duties as a future leader.
It was a so bittersweet.
When she left.
Still, you stared at yourself in the mirror with a bit of poise.
This was your moment and you took it on with a great sense of responsibility; wanting nothing more than to be the best leader to your people. You had many plans now that you had been crowned, but nothing could prepare you for today.
Descending from your mother; you were shockingly only the second queen to be crowned as of a couple days ago. The ceremony came and went so fast with everyone making a big deal out of it. This catapulted misogynistic hate back into the thoughts and mouths of other nations who were still coming around to the idea of women in power.
On the night of your 21st birthday, you were notified that your mother would be stepping down as Queen. Your father had passed away a few months ago and because of this, your nation was now unable to continue to keep peace between the neighboring nation your father was great friends with.
This nation was Sector Four and they never really liked your sector, Sector Nine, for how they ruled. Your father, who was from Sector Three, was just miraculously married to your mother and was the sole driving factor to both nations recoiling from the long history of wars and bickering.
As your mother described it, she was just excited to meet boys on the night she was to find a suitor. She did not realize when she met your fathers eyes that they belonged to none other than a friend of the enemy.
He was a godsend to your nation and the very reason your mother says she was able to face such widespread disrespect that was thrown at her for being the first Queen.
But this didn’t matter anymore. That peace and sense of tranquillity vanished the moment your father’s breath did.
Now that your father is gone, the hunger for power and the ratification of misogyny was trickling back—you were nothing to them; so long as you were your mothers child.
Regardless, life went on and the fact of the matter was that you were now Queen of a nation too and therefore had to meet a suitor.
Today would be that fateful day.
Yes, you heard that right.
Only a few days as leader and every nation in question were lining up for a piece of the power.
It was laughable.
Still, you gathered your thoughts and made yourself knowledgeable of what had to happen. Unlike your mother, you’d be prepared—this wasn’t some joyous event created for you to find a man, this was so much more than that.
“Alright, your tiara is secure.” Your mother said, meeting eyes with you in the mirror as she smoothed down the sleeves of your dress.
You let another soft smile grace your face as you started to stand.
“Thank you, Mother.” You say, albeit a bit shaky.
You didn’t want to be nervous, but the time ticking by was starting to get to you. It was already evening, the ball that your mother put in place being seconds away from starting.
“Don’t worry. So many people may be waiting for you in there, but they all have an agenda of their own. Try to have fun, okay Daisy?” Your mother said, calling you by the nickname she gave you as a child.
She’d always loved daisies.
They were alright in your opinion.
You’d always prefer roses.
“I know. I’ll be fine.” You say, half trying to convince her, half trying to convince yourself.
“Very well, I better get going now. I’ll meet you out there okay? Remember to smile and have fun, alright?” She says as she walks slowly towards the door.
You nod at her.
“Yes Mother, I’ll try my best.” You say, the words being comforting to you somehow. She smiles and sends a flying kiss your way. You chuckle and catch it, much to her happiness.
Once she’s out of sight, you allow yourself some time to think.
Maybe tonight won’t be too bad. If you don’t find a suitor, so what?
There was no hurry, and you were sure everyone present was definitely not there for love. Everything is always meticulously planned when it comes to royal affairs, and anyone can rule truly.
It was just your lucky turn, so you could play by your own rules.
After talking yourself up and out of your nervousness, you decide it’s go time.
You make your way into the large hallway, it’s festive flowers lining the balcony that oversaw the foyer.
Wow, they really went all out.
Just a few halls down was the dining hall, so not many people were around. As you rounded a column in order to go down the stairs that were around the corner, you were quickly drawn out of your thoughts as you quite literally came face to face with someone else.
It all went so fast, suddenly you were falling backwards, a person falling over you too.
“Oh!” You yelled out.
My dress! This shit was hard to put on!
“Oh my! My apologies miss, I-“ Says a young man as he quickly gathers himself.
You crouch up on your elbows, looking up to meet his eyes.
He looked cute.
His features looked like a dear caught in headlights. You didn’t even know what headlights were, and you weren’t sure how you got that saying. Anyways.
“I- Your Majesty?” He utters out, as he stumbles to his feet. He was endearing.
You just stare.
“Your Majesty I’m so sorry, I should have been more careful.” He states, slightly bowing his head and holding out his hand for you to take.
You do so, placing your hand gracefully in his, the strength of his arm pulling you to your feet.
“It’s alright, I didn’t see you as well.” You say.
He clears his throat as he gets a good look at you for the first time, head slightly bowed still.
“You may be at ease.” You chuckle.
His cheeks go pink, a smile making its way onto his face. The dimples on his cheek bones poked through, his eyes forming into crescents in possible embarrassment.
A guinea pig.
He looked like a cute guinea pig.
“Well then, I take it I’ll see you during the reception?” You say, already endeared by his charms.
He looks back at you in shock and places a hand over his heart before bowing again.
“Oh- of course! It will be a pleasure to see you again Your Majesty.” He gets out, taking another bow.
You chuckle.
“Very well, I hope to find out your name then too.” You say, bowing back and making your way down the stairs.
His bow never falters, and you’re sure when you’re far enough you hear him scold himself.
You laugh to yourself.
He was endearing.
And only for a moment does it distract you from your responsibilities.
Within seconds your smile falters and you regained your poise.
It was time to address your guests.
As you walked into the corridor and greeted a bunch of royal caretakers, you greet the Royal announcer as well, making him aware of your presence so that he can announce your entrance. Once he did, everyone scrambled to make sure you were ready, fixing things unnecessarily to make things perfect.
You just let it happen of course—your nerves were starting to get the best of you anyways.
Within a few seconds, you were announced and the velvety ceiling-length curtains were opened.
You walked into the ballroom and were greeted by bright lights and loud cheers. The lighting blinded you for a second, but you didn’t let that show in your expression.
Once you were able to adjust your eyes to the room, you saw several hundred people. Some were smiling, some were serious.
You saw your mother and teachers, happiness evident in their faces to see you be announced as Queen to everyone in attendance. Then you looked over to the other nations and the suitors who were present for you.
My, oh my.
There were so many.
You let out a quiet nervous sigh as you continued through the people and made your way to your seat for the dinner to commence. Before you could sit, there were a few young men who passed near your area and bowed your way, hoping to get an early introduction in.
You chuckled.
One bowed generously, throwing you a wide gummy smile. He must be way younger than you, you note. Just as you slightly bow in response, you see him make his way closer.
He bows again before speaking, “Your Majesty, might I just say, your portraits do not do you justice.” He says, gummy smile coming back as he towered over your seated frame.
He was tall and built, but nothing could stop you from seeing his boyish nature. You let out a chuckle before replying, “And your name?”
“Gunwook. Prince Park Gunwook from Sector Five.” He says, shooting you another sly smile.
You decide to let your chuckle out a little louder this time.
“Noted, Prince Gunwook.” You smiled.
He bowed once more and walked back to what you assume is his royal friends.
Before you could catch the gazes of anymore cute faces, a plate was placed on the gold charger in front of you and everyone in attendance watched as you lifted your gauntlet of still-too-bitter wine; signaling the start of the dinner.
It was only a few hours of wining and dining under the gaze of many suitors before the most nerve racking part of the night was to commence. The classical music changed its tempo to that of dancing music, people making their way to the ballroom dance floor.
Your nerves were starting to build as the melodies played through the hall.
Looking over to your mother, you saw her gesture for you to join the dance floor despite no one asking for your hand to dance yet.
You sighed anxiously and stood slowly to your feet, your ball gown shifting to follow along. As soon as you do this, you see many figures moving, almost on par with your own movements.
Here we go.
It was obvious that the race to ask you to dance was finally here; and boy you wished your corsets hadn’t been so tightly hoisted around you.
Who even dances right after desert?
Still, you hold your chin up high and walk towards the floor as gracefully and as unfazed as you can. It’s there where you meet eyes with him again.
He smiled, whiskers reappearing. Without thinking, you walk towards him—much to everyone’s surprise. He looks shocked as he quickly aknowledges you with a bow.
“Your majesty-“ He starts.
“Would you like to dance?” You speak, cutting him off.
His shock is only evident for a moment, before he smiles bigger and holds his hand out for you to take. You smile back, already comfortable within his grasp.
Once meeting the dance floor, he turns towards you, grasping your waist and holding your other hand in his. You place your hand on his shoulder, and get a good look at him.
Please don’t be from Sector Four. Please don’t be from Sector Four. Please don’t be from Sector Four.
“Your Majesty, thank you for approaching me first, I really am flattered.” He speaks respectfully as he leads you into the dance.
The many people in the room become nonexistent as you let him guide you.
“No need to thank me, you were the first familiar face I’d seen, so naturally I approached you.” You say, smiling shyly under his gaze.
His intentions seemed so straightforward in the way he looked at you. He had seemed entranced.
Dare you say, taken.
You decided to stare at his royal blue suit, the intensity of his gaze becoming too much.
He chuckles.
“My name is Prince Sung Hanbin, Sector Two. Please call me Hanbin, Your Highness.” He says.
This took you by surprise, so you looked up at him and re-evaluated his face.
Your mother’s best friend had a son named Hanbin, but you’d never gotten the chance to meet either of them since she was a Princess of a far away nation. Suddenly his features matched up with that of the paintings you’d seen of your mother and her closest friends when she was younger.
It all came together so seamlessly.
“Oh, so you’re thee Hanbin…” You say, staring him straight in the eyes.
This garner’s you a laugh.
“With all do respect your majesty, I think you’re the woman of the hour.” He says slyly, passing you a smile.
He was smooth.
A very respectful kind of smooth.
Just as you were going to respond, another voice chimes in.
“Pardon for the interruption, but may I have the next dance Your Majesty?” Says a handsome man, confidence seeping through his demeanor.
Hanbin stops leading you and lets go of your waist. As you turn, you meet his eyes.
Sharp and confident, just like his tone, he came off very striking. He was stunning.
If Hanbin was endearing and Gunwook was adorable, this one was gorgeous.
“If her majesty would like to, of course.” Hanbin says, you notice a little protectiveness hidden in his tone as he looks your way.
You smile up at him, barely able to take your eyes off of the new gentleman in front of you.
You notice how his red hanker-chief and red embellishments stand out compared to the rest of his solid black suit. It was all very eye-catching.
When you look back up at him, you were met with a slight smirk. He smiles down at himself for a second, a boyish look on display for only a moment in time.
This, too, takes you by surprise.
You gather yourself as Hanbin clears his throat. You were probably being watched by so many people right now. You can’t help but take note of the evergrowing tension that was starting to cement amongst you three.
“My apologies,” You say, “I’ll be alright Prince Hanbin. Thank you for your time.” You finish, shooting him a smile of gratitude.
He reciprocates it kindly and bows, then passes your hand to the man in front of you.
You take a moment to look him up and down.
Why couldn’t you? You were the Queen for crying out loud.
As you grasped his hand, his other hand goes for your waist quite smoothly. When you place your hand on his shoulder, you hear a chuckle. Your eyebrows raise at this.
“Why do you laugh?” You ask, and you can’t help that your gaurd goes up.
Maybe it was time to go back to being skillfully observant and professional—because this one made you feel uneasy.
“I’m sorry Your Majesty, I wasn’t expecting your gaze.” He says, pulling you a little closer by the waist and staring down at you as he starts to lead you on the dance floor.
You note the vibrado in his tone this time, your heart doing something weird in the process. You also felt your face getting hot.
Why is it scorching in here?
“Pardon?” You say, trying to not drop into the floor.
He chuckles again as he stares down at you once more, “Nevermind that, Your Majesty. How are you feeling?” He asks.
This takes you by surprise—yet gratitude fills your heart at the fact that he even cared to ask.
“It depends. Which answer would you like to hear? The decent one….” You look up at him, meeting his playfull eyes.
“…or the truth?” You finish.
You see a glint in his eyes right before he spins you around, and when you meet again, his eyes find yours effortlessly.
“Whichever you’re willing to share, but I’d rather hear the truth.” He affirms, his serious and chic look taking reign again. You contemplate answering him altogether.
“Very well. But before I do, what’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking….” You stall.
“Apologies, Your Majesty. Prince Ricky.” He states, holding up your hand that was in his grasp and placing a kiss on your knuckles that were covered by your satin gloves.
Your breath gets caught in your throat at his actions, and you have to run what he says back in your mind over and over for you to even process his name.
“…It’s a pleasure to meet you…” You start, staring into his eyes as he continues making eye contact through the gesture.
You didn’t know from whomst he learned to be so smooth from, but you definitely wanted to meet them and say thank you.
He was sly like a feline.
“The pleasures all mine.” He responds and continues to guide you as the music plays.
Finally you decide to give him an answer to his earlier question.
“Truthfully, this is all planned and feels nerve-racking.” You state, deciding to stare at some people around you as you danced, getting a little too worked up by the young man’s continuous gaze.
“I can understand your majesty. Truthfully, are you even serious about finding someone tonight?” He asks a little daringly.
You roll your eyes playfully as he spun you once again, hoping you were moving too fast for others—your mother—to notice.
Ricky was making your graceful facade crumble right from beneath you, and it was something you thought you’d never let happen—let alone at the hands of someone you met a couple minutes ago.
“Truthfully?” You start, and he nods in response.
“Truthfully, yes. I need to do this for my nation.” You say, the conversation turning a bit more serious, your smile faltering.
You were starting to remember your responsibilities.
Right.
You had so much to uphold.
Ricky notices this—the change in mood.
He sighs and looks around as well, contemplating his response before he speaks.
“I can understand the heavy weight you must be carrying on your shoulders Your Majesty….” He mumbles.
Then he leans in, pulling you close so he can whisper in your ear.
“…but for now can we just be people?” He asks.
You feel your heart sink.
When he pulls away, you are met with a genuine look on his face. He smiles and looks down, a piece of his wavy blonde hair falling into his eyes. You go to move it out of his face, but just as you do, someone interrupts.
“May I have the next dance your majesty? Apologies for the disturbance-“ Someone starts, but before they can finish, a man who looks strikingly similar to Ricky steps up.
“Prince Quanrui, your mother is waiting.” He speaks, gaining Ricky’s attention.
Prince Quanrui?
You feel like the world starts spinning.
Prince Quanri.
No.
No…
NO!
“-Your Majesty!!” Your bestfriend and head-maid, Juni, exclaims, pulling you from out of your slumber, forcing you to sit up in your bed.
“Huh?!” You shoot up, chest heaving as you try to take in the feelings left behind from the dream you had just lived through.
“You wench, I’ve been yelling at you! You were starting to scare me!” Juni says, sending you a side eye as she gets up in an attempt to act irritated
All you can do is sigh in relief.
The people in your dreams resembled the same people in real life, but everything felt wrong.
Quanrui, or Ricky, had been the Prince of the neighboring nation that despises your mother, that much was true—but he was nothing like the boy you’d just interacted with in your dream just now.
From the moment you had met him as a child, he was insufferable. He’d always made fun of you and you always found yourself in constant arguments with him.
Tonight would be your suitor’s ball, but you were hoping it would go nothing like your dreams. You couldn’t even understand how you were able to dream of Ricky or see him in that light.
Yes, he was handsome, but that was besides the point.
“I’m sorry Juni, I was having a nightmare.” You say, gathering yourself and getting up from your bed.
It was time to start getting ready.
“A nightmare? ‘Oh- Prince Quanruiiii~ Oh! Do you want the truth Prince Quanrui??~’” Juni mocked as she pranced around your room with an embellished fan, obnoxiously fanning herself.
Your face went warm within seconds.
“Silence! Or I’ll make sure you’ll be serving Prince Yujin rather than Prince Jiwoong’s table tonight.” You say, daggers in your eyes being thrown her way.
Prince Yujin was your younger kid cousin, whilst Prince Jiwoong was a newly appointed royal over in Sector Eight, the latter being known for capturing the hearts of maidens across many lands.
To this, she pipes down like a startled cat, walking out of the room to do god knows what.
This leaves you alone in your room to get ready for the night—as well as all alone to your thoughts.
You sigh as you look yourself in the mirror after your bath. You brush through your hair, anxiousness coursing through your mind.
When your mother comes in and stands behind you to help you with your tiara just like you knew you’d seen before, you feel shivers go down your spine.
“Is everything alright?” She spoke with grace, making eye contact with you through the mirror.
You nod.
“Don’t worry…So many people may be waiting for you in there, but they all have an agenda of their own. Try to have fun, okay Daisy?” Your mother says, calling you once again by the nickname she gave you as a child.
Your face went pale, blood running cold at this statment.
You’d always prefer roses.
Still, she continued on like a broken record.
-
After getting ready and talking yourself through your possible insanity, you meticulously decide to take another route to the reception hall—this meant taking the long way through the castle in order to get there.
Just as you round a corner very carefully, a voice takes you by surprise.
“What are you doing?” A deep voice chimes in from behind.
You jump, immediately turning around to meet sharp and playful eyes. As soon as you see him, you deadpan, automatically irritated that he graced you with his presence.
“What are you doing following me?” You stammer back harshly, immediately turning your back on him and continuing on your way. He reaches out for you and grasps your hair as you run along, letting it pass through his fingers.
“Your hair has grown longer.” He states, a smile on his face as you turn to give him a weird look.
He just chuckles and catches up to you.
“Why are you speaking to me informally, put some respect on my name.” You state, walking faster to hopefully get some distance between you two.
“Oh I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” he starts, but before you can look his way, he spins you towards him and stares down at you.
You couldn’t read him really, but you knew he was probably doing this to embarrass you.
He did this to every lady.
You were sure.
“You look stunning tonight.” He states, brushing a stray part of your hair away from your forehead.
He watches as your face turns warm in color whilst doing everything in your power to try and avoid eye contact.
“Watch your trinkets Prince Ricky, I’ll make sure you go barren.” You say.
He quickly retaliates, immediately moving away—a wide-eyed smile playing on his face.
“Your Majesty, don’t speak that way. You don’t want your suitors to know you’re already thinking of me and children in your life.” He states, quickly sprinting off knowing you would resort to violence at his comment.
You catch his wide smile as he saunters off.
You were so tired of him.
-
With a fast heart beat, you ready yourself to take on the crowd for what felt like the second time today. You tried your best to get the events that just played out, out of your head; trying to convince yourself that your responsibilities and duties as a Queen were of the utmost importance. When the curtains open and your full name is announced, the same scenery you had dreamt of had come to life.
Your mom smiled the same way.
Your teachers did too.
The suitors all scurried to try and approach you just like you had seen before.
You walked over and sat in the same seat.
And there he was, that gummy smile introducing himself all over again.
It was unnerving this time.
The only thing that differed from your dream was the run in with the boy named Hanbin earlier within the day.
Instead, Ricky took his place. In a way, this excited you. Maybe what was to play out was that Hanbin would take Ricky’s spot too.
You smiled to yourself, the sound of music ringing throughout the hall as the strings and flutes played. This time, you didn’t need to search in your mothers eyes for what you should do next. You stand up, dress trailing in your wake.
You feel the room watching your every move. As you step out into the free open space on the dance floor, your eyes searching for him.
If everything play’s out like it did in the dream with only a few substitutions, it should all work out in your favor.
You turn gracefully, finding him on one side of the room. As soon as you see him and you make eye contact, he smiles, albeit a bit shocked.
Alright, you got this.
You take a step in his direction.
Then another.
And even when you see people make their way towards you, you continue towards him.
As you grow closer, his smile drops.
And when you stand in front of him, he stares you down, more serious than you had ever seen him.
“Would you like to dance?” You ask.
He looks around, fake smile on display to try and play off what was currently going down.
“Your Majesty, what are you doing?” He mutters, holding his hand out for you to place yours in.
“Just follow my lead.” You whisper as he bows before looking back up at you.
He takes your hand in his and pulls it towards his lips, taking you completely by surprise.
“You know they won’t like this.” He states, but gives you a smile contrary to his words.
He leads you out to the dance floor.
“I know,” You start, “…but I’m not doing this for you. Or them.” You say, making eye contact again with Ricky, his hand finding it’s way to your waist.
He chuckles at this, his smile reaching his striking eyes as he looks everywhere but at you, probably trying to sell the narrative that you two were having a decent conversation.
You two had always been around each other growing up, sworn enemies by the nations you both belonged to. It was just how it worked out, so you weren’t sure if anyone in the crowd was buying this.
“You sure? I see the way your cheeks go rosy when I tease you.” He speaks, looking back down to you.
This was the one time you recognize his height, because even though he’d tease you, you’d never stayed this close long enough to realize how his frame made you look almost sickly.
“I feel so sorry for you Prince Ricky. You’re so delusional, you don’t even realize how much you’ve rotted your looks away due to your own selfishness.” You mutter, starting to look around for the guinea pig who should be saving you at any moment from this hell.
If everything went to plan, the whiskered boy would take Ricky’s place and you’d dance the night away in contrary to how your dream turned out.
If everything went to plan.
“Oh, so you admit your attraction. I hate to break it to you Your Majesty, but I am not looking to be courted.” He says smugly, finally looking at you, mischief hidden in his eyes as his smile fades. It was almost a serious look.
You scoff at his words nonetheless.
“Say what you want. I know what I’m here for.” You say, continuing to look around.
Where are you?
Ricky notices this and starts to look around as well.
“Who are you searching for? You’re missing the whole reason you asked me to dance.” He says, half teasing, half confused.
You roll your eyes, but continue to search through the crowd.
“Right. Because i so badly wanted to dance with you.” You say, your tone contradicting your words.
Before you could hear out his next words, you were pulled closer by the waist. Your attention snaps to Ricky, meeting his eyes for the ninth time that day.
This time, he definitely looked serious.
A little too serious.
Despite this, you couldn’t look away. You take in the way his eyes look back and forth between each of your own. Without realizing your line of sight trails down to the swoop of his nose, and you see the way his cheeks smooth down to his sharp jaw. You didn’t even want to glance at the wording on the side of his neck. He was breathtaking—so long as he kept his mouth shut.
He looked just like the woman who hated your mothers guts.
When you trail to his lips, you see them upturn slowly. And just like that, you’re brought back to reality.
“Your Majesty-“ A voice chimes in, interrupting the moment.
You quickly snap your neck toward the voice.
Much to your dismay, it was a woman.
“Pardon Your Royal Highness, but may I steal Prince Quanrui for a dance?” She utters, smiling your way with innocence.
You hated that she too had whiskers.
You took in the way her yellow dress contradicted your red one; tailored to match her every inch, including her eye smile.
She was gorgeous.
And when you glance back at Ricky, that pretty entrancing look is gone from his eyes.
And he wasn’t Ricky.
He was Prince Quanrui.
“Ah- If I’m not interrupting anything, that is.” The girl states as she bows your way shyly.
You clear your throat and let go of Ricky’s shoulder, turning to reciprocate her bow.
“Of course. I don’t mind.” You say.
But you do.
You gave Ricky one last look, taking in the way his wavy blonde hair fell into his eyes. Naturally, his suit catches your eye again too; the pretty red roses looking a little different this time.
Roses had always been your favorite.
You send him a faint smile before you face the crowd again. It was an embarrassment that another suitor had taken away your current dance partner away. This was your suitors ball after all, but in that moment you couldn’t have cared less.
Guinea pig wasn’t here.
He didn’t ask you to dance.
Your dream was wrong, and he didn’t exist.
You walked back towards your seat, hoping to get a little rest after dancing for so long.
Despite how you were feeling, you kept your poise and grace as you went. Anyone watching would have thought you weren’t phased.
Everyone but your mother.
She met you back at your seat, brushing off suitors who were approaching you to dance in her wake.
“Are you alright, My Dear?” She asks, sitting down next to you whilst taking a sip of her drink.
You smile her way.
“Yes.”
“His eyes.” She mutters.
You stare at her in confusion.
“Your father got in the habit of gazing at me like that.” She finishes.
Within another minute, she was up and off, but not without leaving you with one last statment.
“Roses also deserve to be picked, regardless of their thorns.” She whispers, just enough for only you to hear, then you are once again left all alone to the maze that is your mind.
You look over to him.
He danced with this fake smile, his flirty eyes contrary to how lightly he grasped the young ladies waist.
It was all the confirmation you needed.
You knew he’d loved you your whole childhood.
You just knew.
Without thinking, you make your way across the ballroom floor.
Nothing could stop you.
No one.
“Your Highness?” A voice chimes up, trying to stop you on your way towards your destiny. You stop, but your eyes are still fixated on Ricky.
“Yes?” You say awkwardly, not even looking their way.
“Hello,” they bow, and you’re barely able to see their figure out of your peripheral vision, sight still set on one of the few blondes in the room.
“Uh- I’m a Prince from Sector Two, and I couldn’t help but-“ He notices your averted attention.
“-I couldn’t help but be in awe of-“ He follows your gaze.
Oh.
You finally take a moment to look towards the owner of the voice tripping over their words. You are met with a shy young man, smiling down in defeat, dimpled lines on the apples of his cheeks.
Him.
“I’m, sorry.” He says before he clears his throat to speak again.
“I couldn’t help but be in awe of your beauty, and it seems I know why.” He finishes. He finally looks you in the eyes.
Sung Hanbin, Sector Two.
“You have eyes I long for, but I see they burn for something else.” He finishes saying, a heartbreakingly respectful but sad smile gracing his face.
You just stare back in awe.
“Have a wonderful night, Your Majesty.” He says, defeat running rampant in his pretty eyes.
“I wish you happiness and health in abundance; truly.” He lets out, bowing before sending you one last smile.
He’s real.
You’re taken aback for a moment as you watch his figure fade back into the crowd, but then you remember the fire that was lit inside you before this interaction.
Right.
Whiskers was sadly the last of your worries right now, and the next thing that happens just confirms this.
When you turn back around, you meet eyes with him.
This time, he’s closer than you’d thought he’d be and you almost bump into his chest as a whole. With a few swift movements his hand finds your elbow, helping to steady you.
You can feel the warmth from him seep onto you—or maybe it was coming from you?
“There you are. I thought pretty boy might have entranced you.” He states, shooting a look in the direction whiskers had left. He over fixates on that area but you continue to look up at him and stare, taking him in all over again.
When he looks back down at you, the glint in his eyes change.
Ricky.
“Prince Quanrui.” You utter out.
His eyes turn blank.
You chuckle.
“Ricky?” You question, searching his eyes for change.
His eyebrows frown, and he tilts his head at you with his hands still placed on your elbow, but there’s that spark of life that’s ignited after you call him by his nickname.
“Yes, Your Majesty?” He questions, completely confused.
You smile up at him genuinely.
You’re not sure if you’ve ever regarded him as adorable before, but what was cute if not him right now?
“I really love daisies, did you know?” You ask, taking him in for all that he is, not caring if you two were stood standing in the middle of the banquet.
He speaks up quickly after registering your words, leaving no time or space to ponder them, “Nonsense, roses are your favorite—especially the red ones. Who are you and what did you do with the Queen?” He asks playfully, letting go of your arm and looking around like the playfull person he always was.
You stare at him, probably smiling like an idiot. He just waits for your response but when it never comes, he looks down at you in confusion.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” He finally decides to ask once his eyes land on yours.
“Ricky, I know you’re in love with me.” You state plainly.
His heart drops and you can see the warmth leave his face. He scoffs ironically, and looks around anxiously whilst he dusts himself off.
“Wow, that’s a good one, Your Highness. You’re really getting good at that-“ He starts, but before he can finish his fluster of a comeback, you grab him by the collar and pull him close.
It wasn’t close enough for your faces to be touching, but now your faces were closer than they’d ever been before. You can hear his breath get caught in his throat, and you watch as he gulps in order to cope with what was happening.
You smirk, looking into his eyes.
You were definitely starting to feel the power of a Queen alright.
“Ricky, I’m going to walk away. And when I do, I will continue to walk and never look back.” You whisper as you study him.
You watch as his eyes looked down to your lips and back up.
Precisely.
However, before you could even pull away, you are yanked forward as he brings his lips next to your ear.
“Let’s say you are correct; I am madly in love with you,” He starts out as a whisper, “…are you willing to deal with the repercussions?”
His tone is playful, and you can hear the smile in his words. He was definitely acknowledging the fact that you two had already been acting so inappropriately infront of all your guests—yet he did not care and was waiting for your permission to proceed.
Waiting for you to acknowledge him fully for what he was.
The sworn enemy who was supposed to hate your guts.
You smirk as you pull away.
“Rules and repercussions are for the people; I am your Queen.” You state boldly, a smile radiating onto your face.
He smiles too, your words garnering a laugh as he pulls away and slightly throws his head back in amusement.
He was really something.
When he leans back towards your face in an effort to keep the conversation between just the two of you, your heart to ascends into your throat.
“Y/n, are you serious?” He asks as he searches in each of your eyes for any sign of regret or even a glint of mischief. He really hoped this wasn’t a joke despite your two’s very playful attitudes.
You watch him, knowing that deep down this is all you’ve ever wanted. Then you send him a smile; and it’s all the confirmation he needs.
Within seconds he pulls you in, placing his pretty lips onto yours.
Finally.
Even the gasps you could hear from around you couldn’t tear you out of the moment you were having.
He was delicate with you; moving his lips on yours like you’d wither from beneath him. His hand that now held your waist inched you closer and closer; it was as if the act you two were in the middle of still wasn’t close enough for him.
When you finally pull away, he places one last kiss on your lips, before he stares down at them. A grin makes it’s way onto his face before he’s looking around at the people in the room without ever meeting your eyes.
He ignores the angry looks on his people’s face, deciding to shoot them the most dazzling smile you’ve ever seen as he focuses back in on you.
“I knew the dream potion would work, maybe meeting you through your dreams wasn’t a bad idea.” He mutters, grasping your hand and pulling you back in and close to him.
Your expression falls as your eyes go wide.
“What did you say?” You ask, half trying to process his words, half going to lose your mind if you heard him correctly.
He freezes and stares down at you like a dear caught in headlights.
Once again, you don’t know why that imagery popped in your head, but alas.
“It’s nothing, Your Majesty. May i have this dance?” He asks cheekily, not knowing if he should continue to play it off or make a run for it. He was always so playful and mischievous.
He was always so…himself.
He was always Ricky.
And you liked every bit of him unfortunately.
He was your favorite.
“Going once…Going twice…” He lets out playfully, holding his hand out closer towards you to take. You do so gracefully, a smile now making its way back onto your face.
When he leads you to the center of the dance floor, he pulls you close and urges you to rest your head near his heart. The music plays on and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you two in disbelief—but it did not matter.
This was your favorite place to be.
“Did you know I actually prefer daisies?” Ricky speaks out of nowhere, his soothing tone cutting through the music that played throughout the hall as you lifted your head and searched his eyes.
There it was again.
That pretty cat-eye gaze of his; fixated only on you.
“They’re my favorite, Y/n…”
“You’re my favorite.”
2024 © lovepookie
♡︎ please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.
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penbleed;
pairings: jonathan/nancy
rating: light teen (swearing + mild sex references)
word count: 2.4k (chapter 1)
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@jancyweeks day 1: history - her diary as a personal history + a bonus history test incident
𝒩𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 16, 1984
—
𝑀𝓎 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓈 𝒽𝑜𝓌. Actually, how do you forget an exam? Actually. How did I forget? And it’s not even that I forgot, it’s that I never knew. I am still so mad but not as mad as I was. Genuinely have no clue why we were not given verbal reminders for that history test. That stupid little secret of a test, that fucking sub rosa fucking social experiment of a thing to see who looks at her minuscule writing under the date on the board every day! Just tell us. Need it. Out loud. This is crazy arrogant and borderline disgusting of me to say, but she doesn't have a better student than me and I deserved better. It was like a setup. Of course I was taking notes, of course I was listening, of course a lot of it was prior knowledge. It’s the history of America and I’m not an idiot. I just thought a test would be coming up after the break, not before.
I mean it’s all been worked out now, though.
But it makes me upset, because where was my head? No, I know where it was, my head was here with me. I was simply using it for its escape function. Wild how my ears can be turned on, and my pen will be going and going and going in perfect time with the lesson, but mentally I’m reliving whatever I want to relive. Or don’t want to relive. I’ve been like this since last year. Stuck inside my skull and cannot climb out. Don’t wanna climb out because sometimes I need to be there, it’s nice in there. Sometimes not nice. I brought this up to Jonathan, he said yes he does understand. Shocker. The difference is he’s been in his head for the last sixteen years, and he doesn’t continually think all the awful things that I think. He’s good and decent and he’s sweet and he’s built a strange, adorable habitat up there for song lyrics and checklists and worries. He does so much in one day. I don’t love his work schedule. Working on Friday nights, God. Then at home he does, like, budgeting and reads their bills and shit? I wouldn’t have time to steep in hate for Mrs. Kincannon, either. (He doesn’t hate her. That’s me.) Not that he’s dealing with his trauma or whatever, our trauma, I don’t know, he isn’t. Still, because his many responsibilities burn up the majority of his mental energy, he doesn’t seem to follow the spirals I follow. At least not when the sun's out. He’s a dramatic pessimist, my dramatic pessimist, oh that was fun to write, but I would assume his internal voice has more of a filter mechanism than mine. Could be a self-preservation thing.
Who knows. But, yeah, neurogymnastics. Neurogymnastics to get me through my day. Each week is a series of extreme highs and extreme lows, lows that I just administer my fantasies to until something new happens. It’s good in the moment. Later I realize that I’ve missed things, spaced out, fell short, and I get all guilty. I feel hypocritical. I’ve fought for my life, why am I not training myself to live it well again. I’m rushing through things because they’re hard. I want to be successful, and this is not the path to success. The pressure is off me and yet all over me. Maybe I shouldn’t care about school, knowing what I know about the flimsiness of this dimension’s edges. Sounds clinically insane. Not ever going to be sure what to do with the fact that I’ve seen a parallel plane, that I was really there. I wish I didn’t care about school. I do care less about it than I did freshman and sophomore year. My grades are forever important to me, but there’s currently a big disconnect between my habits and my academic goals. When I’m at school, I fantasize about it being over. When I’ve set aside time to work, I can’t get through it and I go to my boyfriend. Maybe I am a bad student. Right now. I am. Hard to care about history since I’ve got a lot I would rather focus on. So, right, there are a lot of coercive acts I could be learning about if my teacher calmed down and gave me free time to coerce him. Sorry.
I cannot stop thinking about what I was able to
How he knew about the test is beyond me. He’s missed more days, he’s had more distractions, he’s more susceptible to distractions, and to top everything off he’s on possession watch. You know, just making those frequent check-ins with Will. I don’t know what that would look like. I guess you just ask him how he’s feeling, try to gauge the honesty. I would never ever say this but it seems likely to me that Will is still being…communicated with. Accessed. Scary sounds in his ears or something. Sensations. It’s not like he’d say anything! He’s like this meek little mouse, he could actively be experiencing organ rupture and wouldn’t make a sound. This is terrible, but being at their house does scare me every now and then. In a ticking time bomb sort of way. Is their family not kind of cursed? Then I get kissed and forget where I am anyway, so nothing matters. No complaints overall, it is a very nice place for a slumber party.
My reaction last night was the most embarrassing. How I went from zero to a hundred that fast, how we went from squeaky bed springs and my proposed hickey competition (hate that this is in writing now, but context needed—also I was in a competitive mood yesterday) (he was not) to me whining and crying and essentially hyperventilating because I didn’t understand why he would mention a test when we didn’t have a test. I hate my emotions being played with and all of that bullshit. For some reason I’ve always been on the receiving end of that haven’t I? With boys in our class. Middle school, junior high, that kind of timeframe. At one point I could have convinced myself I was being flirted with. It’s a no, because “all statements.” All pines are conifers, but not all conifers are pines. So all interested boys will tease, but not all the boys that tease are interested. They really were just that eager to let me know my body wasn’t up to par for our age bracket. Pal, are we not eleven and twelve. I cannot be Catwoman for you.
I’m told I’m pretty now, so I’ll count it as a win.
Anyway, Jonathan was not playing with my emotions, and we did have a test. We did. When my panic set in, it was bad. The pressure was building up in my chest, I thought I was in danger of dry drowning. My GPA is literally the only thing I ever feel in control of. In my arms were two options, have an absolutely miserable fucking Thursday night or risk baby’s first F on her transcript. But then he just looked at me, calm as ever, and said, “Why can’t you ask for an extension? I want you to ask her for an extension, okay?” Which I should have come up with on my own. I don’t know why, but hearing him say that was like. Insane. Made everything feel lighter, light as a feather. He doesn’t do this for himself, but for me—he zooms out, he figures out a way to make things less daunting. He can be so positive when it's a problem of mine on the table instead of his, and I'm like who are you, I love you. I usually have no problem cheating systems, swinging things in a way that's better for me, but requesting an extension? My pride lies in academics, I'm aware of that, I don’t often ask for help there. Want to accomplish things without accommodations being made for me. Meanwhile, school stuff is some of the only stuff Jonathan is willing to seek out help with. He has to. He can't afford to not get help. Not like he can spend an entire evening on one little section of an assignment when he needs to be clocked in at work for five hours. In conclusion, he talks to our instructors more than our peers. I have to respect a teacher's pet.
So, I took his advice. However tricky extensions may be. Kincannon is also tricky. Her iron will and everything. You’re not gonna get one if you always ask. You’re not gonna get one if you haven’t already established yourself as a trustworthy kid. You’re not gonna get one for being an athlete. I wasn’t convinced of the plan at first since she dress coded my mid-thigh skirt last week and had to tell me, on a few occasions, to stop chatting with/distracting my boyfriend. Him being in the picture was so in my favor, though, because he seriously might be her favorite. Personally I wanna say it’s gross; it makes her feel good about herself to cosset sensitive, troubled teens that she wouldn’t give a shit about otherwise. Like, you’re not his mommy, but I’m way off topic.
We got up incredibly early this morning. We made her a tiny consolation coffee with cream and cinnamon, pulled up at 6:25 I want to say it was? And the conversation was ace. He had messed up my hair a little to hint at a sleepless night, coached me on how to look pitiful when we were in the car. I really hope I didn’t mishear him mumble something about puppy eyes. He was very tired. I stayed as honest as possible, that’s what he wanted from me. I told her I was having a rough time, that grief keeps getting in my way of things. I talked to her about my selective hearing issue. I said I’m an oral learner, I needed verbal reminders, and I said school means so much to me. Hesitantly I pointed out that Jonathan and I are still getting used to our new relationship, and maybe if our assigned seats were adjacent I wouldn't have to get up to talk to him. She was slightly passive-aggressive, but she was understanding. Then I found out I would be testing Monday. New test, just for me. There was something so ridiculous and fun about sitting in class this morning, reading while everyone else suffered. After, I couldn’t stop apologizing to Jonathan for freaking out. He said I didn’t freak out, I reacted, and he suggested I go easier on myself. That distinction felt huge, really huge.
Right now, I'm desperate to preserve that feeling of lightness, but I’m mad at myself and furious in general. In hindsight I should have savored being comforted a little more, but I was busy having half a meltdown. I’m sure I’ll get to hear one of those soft pep talks the next time something doesn’t go my way. I have so much studying to do, especially since my Special Nancy Test is all writing. I’ve got it, though. I’m fine. Angry but also happy and fine. This will never happen again. I won’t let it happen again.
—
“Uh oh,” Jonathan suddenly murmurs to himself on her bed.
She swivels at her small desk, not fully ready to turn her attention away from her entry. “Hmm?”
“Sorry, no, you can keep writing.”
“But why uh oh?”
There's his gentle huff, his eyes flicking upward in annoyance. He holds a necklace she'd tasked him with untangling using tweezers. Its old, delicate chain was in no less than six billion knots. Somehow he’s the only one in the world who has the patience for this. She sure as hell doesn't have the patience for it. "I'm scared I'm about to break it."
“Break it? Please don’t Jonathan,” she begs on impulse.
“It’s just really far gone. I’m trying.”
And he is. He’s been sitting quietly for as long as she’s been writing. So—long time. She sort of forgot about him over there. “Sorry, I know, I know you are," she says.
He’s silent.
“You’ve been cleaning up a lot of my messes lately, huh?”
She flips over her journal, nudges it away from the table’s edge, and approaches him. From her desk she couldn’t see the glow of afternoon sunlight streaming onto her quilt. Very pretty. Her personal jewelry surgeon sits there in the middle, equally pretty, possibly feeling neglected. He’s gone the full nine yards here. Pushed up his sweater sleeves, swiped her reading glasses, set out a few safety pins and needles as his supplementary tools. He looks sleepy, the brown of his eyes lighter in the path of the sun.
Her arms are behind her back until they’re not, and she crawls on top of him. He absently places the necklace on her flattest throw pillow.
“I said you’re fixing a lot of my messes.”
“I mean…not really.” He’s blushing already, hands awkwardly grasping for purchase at her hips so that he won't get pressed back too hard into the poles of her bed frame's headboard. “If I am, I don’t mind.”
Her lips cushion against this little spot on his jaw that’s so sensitive it kills him, sucking carefully. The action might have the same effect on her that it does him; her heart jumps, swings wide, threatens to capsize in the wet of her chest. It’s that familiar adrenaline response, the uncontrollable energy spike she always gets alongside the realization of oh, we’re touching! She sighs into his skin, and he shudders, a pathetic sound of bliss escaping his throat.
“Okay, well don't start drooling,” she quips. Kisses his pulse point, spittily.
He mumbles something unintelligible, so she keeps on keeping on, shifting her weight back and forth, trying to make the most of the time they have and get some good play in while she can. She’ll have to kick him out soon. She’ll have to study in complete isolation. She dips back, and he follows, she leans forward, and he pulls her closer. “Said I need an extension,” he manages, repeating what she didn’t catch.
“What?”
“If you’re gonna do all this, I need an extension on my necklace project.”
Well, that is definitely going in the diary.
#jancy fic#jancyweek2024#*fic#stranger things fic#jonathan x nancy#ao3#fanfiction#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#diary#i really brought out the weirdgirl in her this is sooo incoherent
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Phases of the Moon - Part 6
Steven Grant x f!Reader, eventual Marc Spector x f!Reader
5684 words
Warnings: chances of swears, FLUFF, lots of silly flirting, my shitty interpretation of French poetry, AND a lot of shitty jokes, so you’re in luck, allusions to a toxic past relationship but nothing specific, like 1.2 seconds of protective Steven
A/N: This will likely be something of a midseason finale, as I still need to finish fleshing out the arc of the second half because I start therapy next week and anticipate being kind of a mess Marc complicates things. I respectfully request that y’all not send asks about when the next update will be (although I’m eternally grateful for your enthusiasm ❤)
As always, keep in mind that I am not a system and am not an expert. All of my information about their relationship comes from the Moon Knight show and I use that as my reference point.
*Bold type is spoken by Marc when Steven is fronting.*
Masterlist
You walked back to the bus stop both a bit quieter than you’d been the rest of the day. Steven wished he’d cleaned up his flat a bit; he really hadn’t planned to invite you back. It certainly wasn’t the temptation he needed. But he wanted to give you your gifts- he wanted to give you anything you wanted. If he was being honest, he didn’t want you to go yet either. He hadn’t had enough of the way you held his arm, your fingers trailing down until they slipped in between his.
When you boarded the bus, Steven sat down beside you and you slid just a bit closer. He wasn’t sure if you’d done it consciously or not, but the fact that you wanted to be closer to him made his pulse quicken. The quick burst of confidence urged him to wrap his arm around your shoulders.
As he did, he couldn’t help but ask, “Is that alright?” He just couldn’t seem to picture himself not being nervous around you.
You smiled, “It’s nice.”
“Are you alright?” Your responses had been a bit short since leaving the restaurant.
You nodded, “Might be a little tired. I think the cake did me in.” You chuckled softly and then Steven noted the slight delay in your speech now. He supposed he had sort of dragged you all over the place today.
He couldn’t help but glance at your shoes, “Are your feet alright? We did a bit of walking today, didn’t we?”
You leaned into him, “I’m alright, Steven.”
“You could invite her to stay,” Marc suggested.
“I bloody well can not!”
“Yes, you can. I bet she’d say yes.”
“Tomorrow is your day to front- or have you forgotten?”
“If you invite her, you can have it.”
Steven glanced at you, tucked under his arm, looking content, before meeting Marc’s stare in the bus window, “Do not do this to me, Marc. I mean it.” He didn’t want Marc’s day to front and he certainly hadn’t thought Marc would call his bluff.
“Stop being so dramatic-”
“Alright, for the sake of honesty, my feet do hurt a little, but not more than your average day out and it was definitely worth it, so no feeling bad, alright?”
“Hm?” It took Steven a moment to catch up.
“Are you alright, Steven?”
You smiled weakly, “I think I might be a bit tired myself.”
“Guess we better get you home then. Which stop is it again?”
He glanced up at the display at the head of the bus, reading off the next stop before cursing softly, “The last one.” He hastily grabbed the rope to request a stop and you followed him to the front of the bus as it squeaked to a halt. You said a quick thank you to the bus driver, climbing down after Steven onto the curb.
“Well, we’ve only overshot by about a block, but I’m so-”
You leaned into him, “It’s alright, no big deal. I wanted more time with you anyway, right?” You stepped back, “So which way is it then?”
Steven’s apology fizzled, a faint smile taking its place on his lips, “That way.”
“Must be something interesting in that head of yours,” you prompted. Maybe a little more teasing was alright.
He chuckled, “You’ve no idea, love.”
“Maybe someday you can share with me.” He knew you were teasing him again; it was getting easier for him to tell. But he wanted to tell you.
Marc’s stony face appeared in the glass of a passing storefront, “Do not tell her.”
“Now who’s being dramatic?”
“Steven, I’m not joking. You will scare her away.” If Steven didn’t know better, he’d say Marc sounded a little afraid.
“Alright, alright, don’t have a fit- I wasn’t going to.”
“Which number are you? We haven’t passed it, have we?”
“Actually, it was back there,” Steven gestured over his shoulder.
“Wait, really?”
“No, I’m only joking,” he laughed. “It’s this one here.” He gestured to a large, rather old-looking building, indistinguishable from the others surrounding it. Inside was a bit dingy, but it wasn’t far off from the apartment Dalton lived in. It was sort of industrial, with exposed supports and lots of tarnished brassy colors that looked like they could use some dusting and a bit of oil.
Steven appeared to be getting more and more nervous as you rode the lift, which was sketchy in its own rite. While it rattled and whirred, he glanced at you, “Sorry it’s not much to look at.”
“Steven, you don’t need to apologize for your apartment building.” You squeezed his hand.
“Well, I’m apologizing for my apartment too, I suppose, aren’t I? I’d have tidied up, but I wasn’t expecting to have you visit so soon-”
“It’s not too late for me to go home,” you suggested. “I don’t know if I want to see your place if it isn’t clean.”
He froze, a long second preceding a nervous smile, “You’re teasing me again.”
You grinned, “You’re catching on.” You stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, “Your apartment isn’t going to scare me away, so stop worrying.”
Steven cursed the way your lips on his cheek made him want to kiss you again; he was getting a bit greedy about that. And despite your insistence that he not worry, he almost dropped his keys before he could unlock the door, fumbling at getting the key in the lock.
Throwing the door open, he gestured for you to go ahead of him, still nervous to see your reaction. You stepped inside, eyes wide with curiosity. It appeared to be all one room, although a sprawling one. You caught a glimpse of a bed on the far end of the room, obscured by some of the many bookshelves. The kitchen was to your right, the counters and kitchen table one of the clear spaces. The door to the bathroom stood ajar to your left. Directly ahead was a large fish tank, with two goldfish drifting around inside.
The floors were wood, the furniture appeared to be very worn or maybe second hand, but cozy. The defining feature was the books stacked up on about eighty-five percent of the room’s surfaces. The air was thick with the scent of old books and Steven, which was a dangerous cocktail for someone who’d had two glasses of wine with dinner.
“As I said, it’s a bit of a mess,” Steven explained as he closed the door. “I’ve been working on getting organized and cleaning up a bit, but it’s-”
“It’s lovely, Steven.” You smiled at him and moved over to a stack of books on an end table, perusing the titles on the spines. “I wasn’t sure what to expect from the rest of the building, but this is quite nice. The wood floors, the big windows, the open floor plan- it’s all kind of elegant, I think. And I love all of the books, although I feel a bit bad for the ones not on shelves- I’d hate to knock them down.”
“That’s what’s been taking so long is getting cleaned up, actually,” he moved up behind you, plucking a book from a pile. “I’ve got to sort through them all and decide which ones to keep and which to donate, which takes me a while, to be honest because I’m quite attached to them. But as it is, I can’t really get the ones on the bottom of the piles, so it’s-”
“An ineffective system,” you finished for him, making him blush. “You know, I can be pretty organized. I wouldn’t mind helping you get cleaned up, if you ever need an extra hand.”
He gave a weak chuckle, “Can’t have you cleaning up my mess for me, can I?”
“Why’s that?” You moved in close, gazing up at him, “I want to treat you the way you deserve too, remember? I really don’t mind.”
Steven was having a hard time thinking. You were in his apartment and you were so close to him; he hadn’t imagined he would end up in this situation today, or maybe ever. So when you batted your eyelashes at him, he crumpled, “Right- sure, that would be nice.”
You smiled, glancing back at the stack of books, “So, are all of these books about Egypt?”
“Most of them,” he smiled sheepishly. “There’s some others sprinkled in; Greek and Norse mythology mostly.” You flitted off to examine some of the shelves and Steven took a steadying breath.
“I’m more of a fiction reader myself, but mythology was one of my favorites topics in school. So I guess it’s no wonder I liked your tour so much.”
“What are you interested in then?” He suddenly felt like you knew so much about him and he hadn’t asked you nearly enough about yourself.
“Nerd stuff, mostly. Fantasy, sci-fi, adventure- that kind of thing. Some romance too, but don’t tell anyone.” At that, you glanced over your shoulder to smile at him, like you were confiding a secret.
“Your secret is safe with me.” And at the mention of romance, he remembered why he’d brought you back here in the first place. “Speaking of-” he headed for the kitchen, taking an arrangement of lovely, red flowers and a box of chocolates from the counter before he shuffled up to you, looking a bit sheepish, “This might’ve been more effective if I hadn’t been such a coward about it.”
“Steven, you didn’t have to get me anything. And honestly, I think it was pretty effective this way. I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Well, yes, but that wasn’t part of the plan, you know,” he admitted.
You cupped his chin, “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’re doing wonderfully. This is, with no contest, the best date I’ve ever been on.” Steven flushed under your touch, but you weren’t finished, “In fact, I would really like to kiss you again, if that’s alright.”
He nodded, though the way his eyes lit up was all the confirmation you needed. You tugged his chin down to meet his lips with yours, the flower paper crinkling between you. You kept it light, breaking away after a few seconds to murmur, “Are you remembering to breathe?”
He chuckled, “Yes, so far. But I think you only need to worry if I start turning blue.”
Your lips quirked up in a slight smile, “What should I do then?" Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?” He grinned, battling the laugh before his forehead touched yours as he pulled his head down, like he was trying to hide it. Your smile grew, “Is that what does it for you? Cheesy jokes?”
Steven grinned guiltily, “Sorry if that’s a dealbreaker.” He set the gifts on the table, clasping his hands behind his back, “Have I ruined the mood then?”
“I think your laugh is very cute, actually.”
His gaze flicked to your lips, “That’s good news then because I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, love.”
You picked up on his tone, playing along, “What is it?”
“I think I’ve forgotten how to breathe.”
You were already tipping your chin up, your lips seeking his while your arms snaked around his neck. Steven wrapped his arms around your waist, slowly and deliberately, the heat of your skin warming his palms. His hands wanted to stray, but he wasn’t about to grope you on your first date- or second date- whatever it was.
But then his grip tightened just a little bit, making a soft moan slip out from between your lips. Steven’s eyes snapped open, his lips parting from yours in a hurry, “Are you alright? Have I hurt you?”
Heat flooded your already warm face, “No- definitely not.” You broke eye contact, “I liked it.” It had been a while since you’d been touched like that; longer still since it was by someone you wanted to touch you.
“Oh,” Steven breathed a sigh of relief. Then he registered your body language, “Oh. Oh, I get it.” Now it was his turn to blush; he hadn’t imagined he’d have that kind of an effect on you. “I’ll be sure to make a note of that.”
You offered a shy half-smile. You knew you shouldn’t be embarrassed- certainly not with Steven, but you’d forgotten how vulnerable it could be to get this close to someone. You were at least sure that Steven didn’t realize the power he had over you, not yet anyway.
“I suppose I should probably get home; don’t want to keep you too late,” you offered. You had monopolized quite a bit of Steven’s day now that you thought about it; this date was only supposed to be lunch.
So you were a little surprised when he managed to look disappointed, glancing out the windows at the dark sky, “You aren’t keeping me- well, a bit- but in a good way, you know. You can keep me as long as you like.”
You raised an eyebrow, “Yeah?”
He chuckled, looking surprisingly unflustered, “Not what I meant to say, but I do stand by that.”
You moved just a bit closer, “As long as I like?”
He smiled, eyes going soft. There was a long pause, he seemed to be gathering courage until he spoke,
“Douze fois l'heure a frappé l'air. Et près de toi je suis encore assise; Et, loin de pressentir le moment du sommeil. Je croyais voir encore un rayon de soleil.”
His eyes never left yours while he recited the poem; when he finished, you realized you had forgotten to breathe.
You spoke softly, “What does that mean?”
He took one of your hands in his again, brushing his thumb over your skin, “It means that I’ve spent a great deal of time with you today and I know the day is ending, but it doesn’t quite feel that way.”
“What does it feel like then?” You hoped your voice didn’t sound hoarse; it made you unexpectedly emotional to have French poetry recited to you. There had to be people more deserving of something so special, but here you were with Steven and somehow he felt that way about you.
“It feels like we’re just starting. And even when today ends, I hope my time with you doesn’t end with it.”
“Steven-” But words didn’t seem to capture what you wanted to say and you didn’t have any French poetry handy, so you hugged him again, burying your face in the crook of his neck to hide the way your eyes were glossing over.
And by now, Steven no longer felt strange holding someone in his arms. It was beginning to feel like you belonged there.
Neither of you said anything for a long several seconds. When you finally broke the silence, your voice was thick, “Steven, I really quite adore you, I hope you realize that.” You chuckled into his shoulder, “Sorry I don’t have any poems memorized.”
He gripped your shoulders, leaning back so he could see your face, “Are you crying?” Worry etched itself into his expression, his lips pulling down into a frown.
You blinked, trying to keep the tears back, “No.”
“Have I said something wrong?” he asked, gaze locked on yours.
“No,” you shook your head, the motion making your eyes spill over. You hastily reached for your face, but Steven gently caught your wrist, eyes pleading with you to confide in him. “You’ve said everything right, actually."
"Then what's the matter?” He wanted to wipe your face dry himself, but he was worried you’d push him away; it was unlike you to be withholding.
You wrestled with your answer and Steven caught a glimpse of an expression he knew well. He’d seen it many times on his own face, even when he wasn’t the one feeling it; self-doubt.
Steven cupped your face, brushing the stray tears away with his thumbs, “Love, you deserve the whole world. I’d wager some absolute twit did something stupid to make you believe otherwise?”
Steven watched the faint flicker of pain cross your expression at whatever memory had been conjured up, “Whoever he was, he was a right prat for letting you go.” His expression darkened in a way you hadn’t seen before, “He best hope I never cross his path if he made you feel this way.”
You would never have expected Steven to be the type to make threats, but as he said it, you believed him. Steven acted like a softy- and he was, mostly. But he was also full of passion, far beyond just enthusiasm for Egypt.
“Steven?”
“Yes, darling?” The shadow in his eyes dissipated and the soft Steven you knew was back, brushing his thumb over your cheek.
“Kiss me again?”
He leaned in slightly, pausing, “You’ll talk to me about this someday, yeah?”
You nodded, blinking at the tears still clinging to your lashes, “Yes.”
Then his lips were on yours; still a bit hesitant, but already improving. You knew you were maybe going a bit fast for him, your lips frantic on his, but you couldn’t get enough. There might never be enough of this sweet, wonderful man to satiate your need for him.
You slid your hands up his chest until they skimmed over his collarbones, brushing up the sides of his neck. Dragging your nails over the back of his neck, you nipped his lower lip, surprised when Steven moaned, a sharp sound he quickly tried to tamp down, but it was too late.
You broke your lips from his, pressing your forehead to his, “Sorry.”
Steven was a bit short of breath, but he shook his head, “Don’t be.”
You offered him a small smile, “Makes me feel a bit better, to be honest.”
“Happy to help any way that I can,” he half-joked.
“You have.”
He dropped his hands to hold yours, “Can I confess something?”
You smiled, hoping to lighten things up again, “Like a murder?”
“Less dramatic and more embarrassing, I’m afraid.” Steven was just glad to see your smile; he didn’t ever want to see you cry again.
“Spill the tea,” you chuckled.
He gave his head a half shake, “Why would I spill tea?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s just slang; it just means to tell me the gossip. The better the gossip, the hotter the tea.”
“Bit silly, isn’t it? Why would anyone purposely spill hot tea?”
You bit your lip to stifle the smile at Steven’s indignation, “Sorry to upset your British sensitivities.”
“It’s dangerous, if you think about it-”
“Steven?” He paused his dissection of the expression, “You were confessing to murder, I believe.”
He gave an embarrassed smile, “Right.” Cheeks going rosy, he added, “Although if my girlfriend is going to intentionally spill tea-”
You blurted it out before you could think better of it, “Am I your girlfriend?”
“Oh-” His expression fell, “-bugger. I was going to do something special to ask you, but I’ve kept thinking about it today and I suppose I got a bit excited. And that’s if you even wanted to be-”
“I do want to be,” you offered, trying to head off the insecurity he was working himself up to. “But, I will politely decline your request to be your girlfriend today.” You hoped he understood what you were trying to do.
“You will?” You’d never heard someone so excited to be turned down before.
You couldn’t help but laugh at his tone, “I will. We’re just sort of seeing each other, isn’t that right?”
He nodded seriously, “Very casual.”
“No big deal.”
“Not even a deal, really. Sort of an agreement.”
“An understanding,” you offered with a stoic nod.
“Precisely.”
You stared at each other for a moment before you burst out into laughter. You were tearing up again, but this time your sides were starting to hurt from laughing so much. The sound of Steven’s laughter made your chest feel warm, that long forgotten feeling of butterflies suddenly returning.
As your laughter faded, you couldn’t rid yourself of the smile on your face. Now that you thought about it, you couldn’t remember a day when you’d smiled this much.
“So, what was that confession?” you finally asked, once you were both relatively composed.
Steven’s already pink cheeks darkened at the reminder, “Yes- that. I, ah- I don’t think I want you to leave.” He rushed to follow up, “I mean, it’s late. I’d feel awful if I didn’t make sure you got home safely and I’m sure your feet could use a bit of a break-”
“Are you inviting me to stay?” You definitely weren’t expecting that.
He flinched, almost like he’d hoped the words would fade before you heard them, “Only if you want to, of course. You would take my bed, obviously, I can take the sofa-”
“Steven, I’m not taking your bed,” you gave him an exasperated look.
“I can’t let you take the sofa.” The disdain in his tone was enough for you to bury that idea.
“Then stay with me. In your bed.”
“I can’t- that would be- I just-” he had so many protests, he couldn’t seem to land on which one to use first.
“Steven, I’m not suggesting we have sex, just to be clear.”
The red tinge was creeping down his neck now, “Well, that’s a relief at least, but still-”
Normally you would be offended if someone looked so relieved not to sleep with you, but you knew Steven’s heart was in the right place. You rubbed his arm reassuringly, conceding, “I can take a cab home.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Steven explained, looking pained. “You’re entirely gorgeous and I-”
"Steven, it’s alright. We’ve had a great day, or at least I have, and I really don’t want to push you into doing something you don’t want to, but I also don’t want to put you out.” You lifted your shoulders in an easy shrug, “I should’ve left already, actually, but it turns out I’m awful at saying goodbye to you.”
“Because she wants to stay,” Marc offered from his reflection in the window. “Don’t let her leave, Steven.”
“I can’t exactly force her to stay, can I?”
“You wouldn’t have to if you’d stop being-”
“Would you mind walking me out then?” You unknowingly interrupted Marc, grabbing Steven’s hand and giving it a soft tug toward the front door.
Steven didn’t move, the internal battle transparently raging behind his eyes. You felt a bit bad; you were being kind of difficult. But you knew you wouldn’t get any sleep knowing Steven was in the next room over when he could be with you.
You released his hand, pulling your phone out instead, “Actually, I’m going to call the cab now, I’ll be right back.” Steven watched you move off into the living room, feeling a bit frustrated.
“Are you really just gonna let her go?”
“I can’t do it, Marc. I can’t share a bed with her.”
"Fine."
"Cab will be about ten minutes or so," you reported, coming back over. Seeing Steven still looking stressed, you put your hand on his shoulder, "Steven, it's really alright."
Guilt washed over his face, “I hope I haven’t hurt your feelings because I really do want to- I want to be close to you that way- quite badly, actually, but I’m a bit nervous-”
You stopped him before he could spiral too much, offering a reassuring smile, “My feelings are just fine. I understand.”
“You do?”
“I do. I don’t want to rush things between us; we can go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.” He visibly relaxed at that, shoulders slackening as he lowered his hands from their holding place at his ribcage. “That said, I can admit that I’m very excited to get close like that.”
You stepped closer, sliding your hands around his waist, “I’ll be looking forward to sleeping in and cuddling up in bed and holding each other and stealing little kisses and-”
“Is it too late to change my answer?” he gave a weak chuckle, hoping you wouldn’t be able to hear how dry his throat had gone.
You stole a quick kiss, his lips chasing yours a bit as you moved back, “Next time.”
His hands found your hips, “Next time could be right now, couldn’t it?”
You tilted your head, “I’m not sure that’s how it works.”
“We’ve been on two dates today, haven’t we? What’s one more?”
You laughed, “Alright, I respect that you’ve used my logic against me, but I already called the cab. I’ll see you again soon.”
“How about tomorrow evening?” He knew he sounded clingy, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind. “I’m off at seven.”
And you knew you should probably take some time to cool off; you were feeling a bit infatuated right now. But you nodded, “I’d like that.”
“I could make you dinner,” he offered.
You raised an eyebrow, “I thought you said you didn’t like to cook.”
“I don't mind it, but I’m probably a bit rusty,” he admitted.
“I could help you.”
He chuckled, “As much as I want to refuse, that’s probably for the best.”
"Meet you here at eight then?"
Beaming, he nodded, "It's a date."
You returned his smile, but before you could reply, there was a ping from your phone, "Looks like my ride is here."
"I'll walk you down then. Oh, and don't forget your things." He hastily grabbed the flowers and chocolates from the table, keeping them clutched in one hand while the other went to the small of your back. He seemed to just want to have a hand on you the whole way out of his apartment, holding your hand in the elevator too. The only time he broke contact was when he rushed ahead to get the front door, following you out to the curb where your taxi was waiting.
He opened the car door and gently put your gifts on the backseat, asking the driver for a quick moment. He buried his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels, “Suppose I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?”
You nodded, surprised by the sudden bit of awkwardness between the two of you; things had come so easily up until now, “Tomorrow.” You realized you were still wearing his jacket and you moved to take it off, “Here, I should give this back-”
“No- you might need it on the way home. You can keep it,” he quickly unburied his hands to still yours.
“Steven, you’ve worn this almost every time I’ve seen you. I don’t want to take your favorite jacket.”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Looks better on you anyway, don’t it? Besides, makes sense my favorite jacket and my favorite-” He seemed to catch himself, his face going pink even under the faint light of the streetlamps.
You didn’t tease him; you were feeling a bit flushed as well. Not wanting to keep the cabbie waiting, you leaned in, kissing Steven’s cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Right, tomorrow. Let me know once you’ve gotten home then?”
You smiled, “I will.” You climbed into the cab, “Good night, Steven.”
He offered a wry smile, “Good night, dearest.” He somewhat reluctantly closed the door, remaining on the curb until the car pulled away. He was sad to see you go, almost wishing he’d listened to Marc, but he couldn’t help a smile as you turned back, waving out the cab’s rear window.
Marc’s voice echoing in his head surprised him, “You are so screwed.”
Steven watched the cab round a corner, finally disappearing, his voice a bit dreamy, “Yeah, I suppose I am, aren’t I?”
True to your word, you sent Steven a text when you arrived safely at home. You did have to endure a bit of teasing from Dalton when you asked for a vase for your flowers, but they looked nice on your bedside table. And they made you think of Steven, though not so much as the jacket, which you were embarrassingly tempted to sleep in. You stubbornly put the jacket on a hanger, mounting it on the closet door instead of inside.
You couldn’t believe you’d almost slept over on the first date- thank god Dalton didn’t know that part. The bit of distance between the two of you didn’t make your head much clearer either; you still wished Steven had just agreed- then you’d probably be cuddled up with him right now. But then he wouldn’t be the Steven you liked so much- your Steven, as you were coming to think of him.
Every reason you’d come here seemed to fade into the background in comparison to the way you’d felt today. None of those things seemed to matter. They were all just background, the build-up to the part of your life that could be starting right now. You knew you were lovestruck, that much was obvious. But aside from that, this felt like something.
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand while you brushed your teeth and your heart leapt. You’d sent a simple, “Made it home safe. Thank you for today.”
Steven had replied, “Glad to hear it. I should be thanking you- sorry it had to end.”
You smiled, “You’d best not be beating yourself up. This was the right call. It was perfect.” You finished brushing your teeth and climbed into bed, phone still in your hand.
Steven hesitated before sending his next reply, “Still, think I’ll be up missing you tonight.”
“Don’t lose too much sleep- can’t have the museum’s newest tour guide showing up late, can we?” You sent a quick follow up, “Feel free to think about me tomorrow though.” You set your phone on the bedside table, gaze flicking up to Steven’s jacket. Was this really all the willpower you were capable of?
When Steven’s reply came through, you were just climbing back into bed, his jacket wrapped around you. “You say that like I’ve got a choice.” Well, at least it seemed like you were both equally as spineless when it came to the other.
“Do your best to get some sleep, for me.” You bit your lip, considering before snapping a quick picture of yourself. You wondered if he’d notice the collar of his jacket poking out from under the blanket.
“Oh my days, she’s wearin’ my jacket to bed.” Steven was dumbstruck, staring at the photo you’d sent to him.
“Nicely done,” Marc nodded approvingly.
Steven gave a dreamy sigh, “Would you look at her? She’s so stunning.” He couldn’t help but add again, “And wearing my clothes.”
Marc wanted to point out that you could be here, right now, if Steven hadn’t chickened out. But that would also mean that Marc would've had to remain in the background. He wouldn’t admit it to Steven, but today had been difficult. It had been a while since Marc had to be so quiet in the back of Steven’s mind.
If Steven noticed Marc’s long silence, he didn’t draw attention to it. “Is it alright if I make this the background on our phone?”
Marc wouldn’t miss the photo of the fish tank that currently graced their phone screen, but he felt strange about using a phone with your face on it. You weren’t his, you were Steven’s. It felt like an invasion of privacy- like he was trespassing in your relationship.
“Marc? That alright with you?”
“It’s fine- sorry,” he offered hastily.
Satisfied, Steven confirmed his changes, grinning as he returned to his home screen to find your face there. Marc thought he was off the hook, but Steven looked for Marc’s face in the fish tank, “You alright then? Sorry it was such a long day, but I’ll make it up to you- and tomorrow night too-”
“I’m fine, Steven,” Marc reassured him. “I’m happy for you.”
Steven paused, “You could be happy for you too.” He rushed to say the rest, “I think if we told her the truth, she would-”
“No. No, no, no,” Marc shook his head. “That is not happening.”
Steven’s face fell, “It’s got to eventually, don’t it? We don’t want to repeat the same mistakes.” Steven didn’t have to specify which mistakes; he meant Layla.
“Eventually nothing. We can cross whatever bridges when we come to them.” He didn’t want to ruin Steven’s good day, but he was not ready for this conversation.
“I don’t want to build a relationship on a lie, Marc. And I think she’d love you too.”
“Love me too? You don’t even know if she loves you yet- it’s been one day, Steven.”
“Well I know that,” Steven huffed. “But don’t you feel it?”
Marc unhappily played along, “Feel what?”
“That bit of…rightness in your chest,” Steven fumbled for the right words. “Like she fits perfectly, right here.” He clasped his hand into a fist over his heart, holding it in place with the other.
“Steven, she’s your girlfriend. I don’t feel anything.”
“Well, she’s not my girlfriend yet- I’m going to ask her proper.”
“Well if you never text her back, she might say no.”
“Bloody hell, you’re right- I’ve forgotten to reply- I hope she hasn’t already fallen asleep, although she does need the rest-”
Marc stopped listening, grateful to have Steven distracted, at least for now. But he kind of missed the way things were before- just him and Steven. Everything was changing again and just once, he’d halfway hoped they could stay the same for a while. But you were here now and it was clear there was no going back.
Phone still in your hand, the faint buzz of Steven’s reply wasn’t enough to wake you. You would see his “Good night, love. Sleep well and see you tomorrow,” in the morning.
#steven grant x reader#moon knight x reader#marc spector x reader#steven grant fluff#moon knight fluff#steven grant fic#moon knight fic#phases of the moon series
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hiii! I saw that you already did dad headcanons, but I was wondering how you think those same boys would react to hearing the news about their s/o being pregnant. And how would they break it to the crew?
A/N: OP Boys As Daddies Here! Enjoy!
Next part will have Cora and Law <3
Monster Trio React to Their S/O Being Pregnant (SFW)
Cw: VERY SLIGHT mentions of abortion
Black Fem Reader in Mind
Ft., Luffy, Zoro, Sanji
Sanji
I mean it was bound to happen.
Not saying Sanji has a breeding kink, but he has a breeding kink. He got with you and just didn’t know wtf pull out meant.
Plus he does not believe in condoms.
But none the less Sanji would be a treat to tell
It was after dinner and you and Sanji were talking as he cleaned and you wanted to let him know gently because he was a very dramatic man.
“Ji… how do you feel about kids?”
He answers you with glee, he loves kids, he always wanted to have a little family of his own with you once you all achieve your goals. It actually ends up calming the nerves you began to have.
You kept asking baby questions and eventually he turned around and caught on.
“Y/N…”
“Hm?”
“Y/n….what are you trynna tell me…”
“….”
“…”
“I am pr—-“
The words didn’t even come out of your mouth yet his eyes lit up like a light and he grabbed you tightly crying on your shoulder not even believing you at first until you brought him the pregnancy test.
He still has it btw.
Sanji somehow had a suspicion you were pregnant. He knows your body better than yourself, so even though he cried a little he was happy that his assumptions were correct.
You both didn’t even sleep that night, you just kept talking about your future. You had to hold him to keep him still he just couldnt stop jumping around
As for how you both announced the pregnancy he wanted to tell everybody at breakfast so he made a feast. When Robin asked what the occasion was he grabbed you by the hand and told everyone.
“Y/N and I….are pregnant.” :)
Luffy: Men can’t get pregnant…
“LUFFY!”
None the less it was super sweet and honestly you becoming pregnant changed him in a pleather of ways.
He became more mature, protective, vigilant, calm, and even slowed down on his simping for other women. Because now that you have his baby inside you
You both are his only focus now.
Zoro
He didn’t believe you but Chopper was the one to tell you both actually which was really cute because they both nearly fainted.
Also He actually doesn’t understand how you could have gotten pregnant
“UM???? YOU CUM IN ME EACH TIME?!”
“Yeah, but i thought after you take a shower it all comes out.”
Bless him
Though his reaction is a bit …delayed best believe he does become happy.
Shocked, but happy.
He will respect your decision whether you want to keep the baby or not but deep inside he hopes you keep it
But thank God you do!
You actually caught him doing that and teased him all day.
He becomes a damn menace though.
He steals parenting books from the library and reads them after training. Even though he acts like having a baby isnt a big deal he is internally panicking.
He wants the best for both you and the baby and it shows in the most annoying way though.
He doesnt even tell the crew yet because he believes them knowing would stress you out
However Zoro is doing that all alone himself
“What are you doing?”
“I cant get up?”
“Its not good for the baby!”
“….i have to pee….AND IM LIKE 2 WEEKS PREGNANT AND IT IS???”
The crew found out because Zoro was upset
You and Zo are known for drinking together alot but of course you stopped and plenty of people began to notice everytime you turned down a drink.
You were sitting on Zo’s lap by the fire with everyone and even Luffy was drinking except you.
“Y/N are you sick? Why arent you drinking?”
“She cant.”
“Why?”
“Because i said so, Luffy.”
“Youre not the boss of Y/N she can drink if she wanna—“
“SHE CAN’T IT’S NOT GOOD FOR THE BABY!”
Cue in the dramatics.
Zoro to this day slaps his head thinking about how harshly he made sure YOU and Chopper won’t spill but he ended up doing it himself.
But his worries were diminished realizing the amount of well support you both got from the crew since then.
Zoro puts your safety above his every single time and actually gets mad when you don’t listen.
He takes more care of hisself and he isn’t too reckless when he is fighting. For the first time in his life he knew his life was worth taking care of for his future family.
Luffy
Doesn’t get it, but he is a good sport
When you and Chopper tell him he just can’t understand???
“Who’s baby is it?”
“YOURS OBVIOUSLY!?”
“I thought you said if i pull out you wouldn’t get—“
“PULLING OUT BEFORE You ejaculate not AFTER—“
Not until you’re about 2 maybe 3 months and showing is when he finally registers he is going to be a dad.
Every month up until then he looks at you and wonders why you don’t drink, fight, or any thing that you usually do until FINALLY Law explains it to him like he’s 5.
Now that he is up to speed about you being pregnant he suddenly becomes pregnant?
You got cravings? So do Luffy.
You want cake and tacos at 2am
Bless Sanji heart because Luffy do too
He actually ends up gaining a little bit of weight but it wasn’t even noticeable really, he trains too the rubber man really just bulked up
Luffy was showing his concern of being a father to Robin alot. He didn’t want to worry you in thinking he didn’t want the kid especially if you were willing to rid of the baby if he suggested.
Overrall during pregnancy he intrust the crew to watch over you when he leaves. He has complete trust to make sure you are okay and well and healthy.
A few cute things is he will have some moments where he stretches out his belly to bump yours, talk to the baby, sing to it, and even place his hat on your tummy always reminding him or her that their daddy will be the king of the pirates.
You honestly believe you having this baby has matured him in ways you didn’t think was possible.
#one piece#TimikosMonsterTrio#one piece headcanons#black reader#one piece x female reader#sanji#sanjionepiece#sanji imagine#sanji x black reader#sanji x reader#one piece x black!reader#zoro headcanons#black foot sanji#zoro hcs#one piece scenario#female reader#x female reader#luffy headcanons#ronoroa zoro#luffy#one piece zoro#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#donquixote corazon#one piece fluff#law headcanons#law scenarios#trafalgar d law x reader#law imagine#Timi
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oh I AM WALKING
Like……i just. Hm. Okay. So like
Season 8: Buck is exploring and having fun with his newly discovered sexuality. With tommy or whoever. Doesnt matter. We see Eddie dealing with the layers and complexity of his catholic guilt. Him starting to truly discover what it actually is HE wants for himself versus what he think’s supposed to want.
Buck throughout the season, while dating, is having fun and he’s happy but he starts to feel like there is just still something missing but he doesn’t know what it is. We see the boys stories parallel in that way for most of the season. S8 finale. Big emergency cliffhanger. Trapped dads vibes okay. Perhaps feelings come out. Buck realizes “oh shit. Im in love with Eddie” and tries to tell Eddie but then something bad happens. Bam! End of season.
Season 9: buck is reeling from this realization but like. They almost died so all emotions are on 10. They are in the hospital talking about everything but the elephant in the room. They talk about the will and what it means. Its heavy. Eddie telling Buck again that there is no one else for his son. No one else for HIM. “Its only ever been you Buck” and they are just sitting in this moment with so many words left unsaid. Both of them scared of the magnitude of their feelings.
The season continues as both of the boys try and navigate through what it means to be in love with your best friend. Eddie possibly working through having feelings for a man. Buck scared of losing what they have but also knowing that Eddie is it for him. Maybe mid season, they finally sit down and talk. Buck tells Eddie in so many words: I want you. I want this life we have made together with Chris. I love you. Eddie feels the same way. they both agree: we need to be sure, because once we go there, there is no going back. This could be a great thing for both of them but they have to be ready for it.
Now as 9B goes on, we see flirty Buddie. We see them basically together but not together ya know? They are happy taking their time cause they know the wait will be worth it. Now of course cause this is a primetime drama, some very traumatic/ dramatic will happen in the season finale. Now while nothing happens to the boys physically, whatever big ugly thing that happened, they just want to be with each other afterwards. They are each other’s home. We get a scene in the finale of them at Eddie’s house, on the couch. Eddie basically says that he doesn’t know if he will ever be 100% ready (more to do with his feelings about his own shortcomings) but that he is 100% sure about them. About Buck. He says I love you. Buck says it back. Then Buck proceeds to give his own love declaration. All these beautiful words about how Eddie has been what he has been looking for all this time. That this life is short (they understand that better than most) and he wants to spend whatever time he has left with Eddie and Chris. Cue first kiss. Cue thousands of fan girls dying. End season.
Season 10: now that they are together i feel like the lead up to an engagement could be fun. They are all happy and in love and they are sappy and Chris is making fun of them. Maybe on a call, or somewhere else Buck introduces Eddie as his fiancé and Eddie is like ????? And we get some fun spiraling. Eddie talks to Hen or something. “I would know if I was proposed to right? I mean we’ve only been together a few months???” And Hen is just like “yall have been Buck and Eddie for much longer than that” so that leads to Eddie asking Buck about it. Buck is like yea I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you remember??? And Eddie is like that isn’t a proposal! A proposal usually includes a question like WILL YOU MARRY ME? Again. We’re having fun with this. So Buck is all like okay. Eddie, will you marry me? eddie thinks he’s joking but he’s not. The moment goes from light and fun to intimate and emotional. We get some more “you’re it for me. I love you” Buck is choosing Eddie. Eddie is being chosen. Eddie is choosing to be happy for himself. Eddie says yes. BAM! LET THE WEDDING PLANNING COMMENCE.
(Now obviously this is just idiots ramblings. These are bones and they story would need meat and muscles to become fully fleshed out but. I just. Ya know. Had feelings)
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a small surprise holiday chapter! (gravity falls g/t)
merry christmas and happy hanukkah everyone! i had planned on putting out a new chapter, but the flu absolutely kicked my ass, leaving me no energy or time to write what i wanted. luckily, i had been working on this holiday chapter as a fun little aside, so consider this my holiday gift to you all for being the best g/t enjoyers i could ask for. the idea was born from a hc of stan hating christmas music, and it spiraled from there. i hope you all have a wonderfully amazing day celebrating whatever holiday you celebrate! :)
you can find the beginning of this story here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Gah, I can’t take it anymore!”
Stan kicked his foot back and slammed the door behind him. His arms were cradling two brown paper bags filled to the brim, the contents of which nearly fell to the floor as he ambled inside. “My brain is about to fall out of my ears! Make it stop!”
Jay looked up, surprised. Stan was back from the store sooner than she would have thought. “What?” she asked, a bit groggy. She knew by now that Stan’s tone didn’t always match the situation he found himself in. “What’s going on?”
“Christmas music. Christmas music everywhere!” Stan cried, throwing the bags onto the table with little grace. Jay scooted to the side as an apple rolled by a bit too close for comfort. “On the radio, at the grocery store, in my head. It’s an epidemic!” He flipped his hood down. He wasn’t done yet. “Oh, and this new song. It’s horrible. And the radio won’t stop playing it! What kind of idiot would give his heart away again after getting it broken the year before?! And you know, there’s too much synth in music nowadays. Can’t we go back to the good ol’ days of real men playing real instruments?”
Jay laughed, taking a long sip of tea from her thimble before setting it aside. Listening to Stan complain was free entertainment.
“You should be glad you’re tiny, kid,” Stan continued, head buried in the fridge. “You don’t have to worry about the stressors of human life. Like, how am I supposed to make Ma’s latkes with these terrible potatoes?” He held one up, presumably for her to see it in all its disgrace, but it looked like normal food to her.
“Latkes?” Jay asked, tilting her head.
She jumped when Stan slammed the fridge shut. “Don’t tell me.”
Jay raised an eyebrow. “Tell you…?”
“If you don’t know what latkes are, then that means… no. He wouldn't!”
“What? He wouldn’t what?” Jay repeated, unsure as to who he even was in this situation.
“Poindexter never told you about Hanukkah?!”
Jay shrugged wildly. Something told her he wasn’t being dramatic this time. “No? Is it some kind of holiday?”
Stan looked like he wanted to cry. “Some kind of holiday?! It’s THE holiday, kid! How could Ford not have told you?”��
“I don’t know! I guess he just… didn’t want to? What’s the big deal, anyway?”
“WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL!” Stan repeated in utter bewilderment. He took a deep breath as Jay gave him a side-eye. “You know about Christmas, right?”
Jay nodded. “Yeah. Fidds told me about it. Ford didn’t really seem to care, though.”
“Yeah, of course he didn’t care,” Stan said, crossing his arms. “We’re Jewish!”
Now Jay was really confused, and she didn’t have to say anything for Stan to know. His face contorted into a look nothing short of horror.
“You lived with my brother – a Pines – for years and never even knew he was Jewish!” Stan cried, putting his hand over his forehead and dramatically slinking down. “Oh, the humanity!”
Jay rolled her eyes. “I think you’re overreacting.”
“Absolutely not, kid. This is important stuff.”
“So, are you going to tell me what… han-ah-kah is? Or are you just going to faint about it?”
“You’re not saying it right,” Stan grumbled as he pulled himself back up. “Alright, alright. I’m just… surprised Poindexter never did anything for it, that’s all.”
“Is it… like Christmas?” Jay asked carefully. She didn’t want to actually offend Stan. This was clearly very important to him.
“Kinda, yeah,” Stan said, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Except better.”
“Better?”
“Better. Christmas, it’s only one day, right? Hanukkah is eight.”
Jay was intrigued. She had never heard of a human holiday that lasted more than a day.
“Yeah, I see you’re impressed. There’s presents, food, games… it’s basically a big weeklong party! And you get to light a new candle on the menorah every day until the last, that’s always my favorite part. Guess Ford never set one up, huh?”
Jay shook her head, but something else came to mind. “Fidds… he brought a tree inside one year. Is that normal?”
“Yeah, for those weird Christmas people, it is.”
“I got so mad at him.” Jay shook her head with a faint smile. “Like, who brings a tree inside like that? What if a clan used it as their home?”
“Don’t worry, kid, we won’t be having any trees inside this house as long as I’m in charge. But we should go out and get a menorah. I really would have thought Poindexter would have one here…”
Jay wracked her brain in case she was somehow forgetting about this holiday, but nothing came to mind; especially not this menorah he was talking about. “So… the... menorah, is like a candle holder.”
Stan shrugged. “A little simplistic, but sure.”
“And the latkes…”
“Potato pancakes,” Stan explained. “Basically, you shred some potatoes, add some onion, egg and flour, and fry the whole sucker up. Ma’s secret is to put a little bit of cheese and zucchini in it.” Stan’s gaze seemed to turn distant. “Heh, she knocked ‘em dead every year. Mrs. Levin never knew what hit her, that miserable old hag. Ma’s latkes are the best in all of New Jersey.”
Jay’s heart ached as Stan spoke. His entire demeanor changed any time he talked about his family or his childhood. It was like he was an entirely different person.
“You… never talk about your family much,” Jay started, preparing for blowback, but it never came. Instead, Stan shot her a look of… almost hurt. “Besides Ford, I mean. Your mom’s recipe… it sounds nice.”
Stan seemed to soften at that. “Heh, yeah, it is, kid. We can make it later.”
“We?”
“Yeah, we. Hanukkah, it’s… it’s about celebrating community, and – togetherness. And right now, we’re all we’ve got. So let’s go get us a menorah, and then you’re gonna eat so much potato your tiny little stomach will explode all over the place.”
Jay sniffed a laugh. “That’s gross.”
“Yeah, like you’d ever turn down food,” Stan smirked. Jay rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Now, come on, pipsqueak, we’ve got work to do.”
It was weird climbing into a mittened hand, but Jay understood it. She needed to bundle up even more than her human counterparts, but she had nothing from her old home. It was summertime when Ford found her, and by the time winter rolled around, it was firmly established that she was never going to leave the comfort of a heated house. She absentmindedly wondered if her stuff was still in her hiding spot as she ambled into Stan’s pocket, now lined with extra fur to keep her warm.
And warm she stayed, even as the snow pounded down on Stanley’s car like little meteors. He knew she hated being inside a moving vehicle, and he wouldn’t admit that was half the reason he parked it on the side of some random road and did the rest of the journey on foot. It wasn’t that long of a walk into town, but finding a place that sold Hanukkah things would prove difficult.
Stan kept glancing down. He knew Jay wasn’t going to pop out, especially in public, but it always worried him when she stopped moving in there. That anxiety compounded with his growing worry that he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for. Every storefront had colorful lights, wreaths, trees, and Christmas decorations plastered on the windows – but not a single sparkle of silver and blue.
Until he reached the edge of town.
“Jackpot!” Stanley cried. He had been wandering around so long that his face was numb, and even Jay was starting to get concerned.
The store was tiny; it was tucked at the end of a road that didn’t even have a streetlight. But glowing bright as day in the center of the store’s only window was a Star of David. Oh, sweet Sally, Stan thought, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes!
The closer Stan got to the store, though, the more skeptical he became. Maybe the window was tinted, but it looked pretty dark inside, and there were no prints in the freshly fallen snow around the store; not even from a squirrel. This town already wasn’t the most welcoming place, and now, standing alone in front of this mysterious store, Stan felt like he was on an island of his own. The blinking window sign underneath the dim streetlight reminded him too much of–
No, Stan thought, forcefully shaking his head. It’s not like that. Not anymore. Not here.
Reluctantly, Stan pushed the door open, half expecting it to be locked. But a wave of warmth washed over him, nearly shocking him out of his negative thoughts. The lights were a soft, golden yellow, illuminating the aisles with an almost homey glow, like a thousand candles lit up at once. The store seemed to be more like a bodega than anything else, with shelves stocked to the brim with food, groceries and everything in between. Stan slowly shook the snow off his hood as he whisked it off his head. He could tell he was the only one here.
Jay couldn’t take it anymore. Stan’s slowed pace was not the reaction of someone who excitedly found what he was looking for. So using all her strength, she sat up, grabbed the lip of the pocket and hoisted herself up so only her head was peeking out.
She was expecting to feel the cold, but she was instead greeted by the sweet feeling of a heated room. “Stan?” she called, but he was too distracted to hear her. Jay frowned. “Stan!” Nothing. She sucked in a deep breath. “STANLEY PINES!”
That seemed to work. Stan blinked and peered down, surprised. “What? What’s the matter, tiny?”
“What’s the matter? Aren’t you gonna tell me what’s going on? Where are we?”
Stan rubbed the back of his neck. He was too embarrassed to admit that he forgot she was there. “Oh. Right.” He peeked around a bit more, taking a few cautious steps forward. He had to make sure he wasn’t about to get kicked out. “I thought this place was golden, just what I was lookin’ for – but I’m not so sure now.”
“What? Why not?”
“Well… I dunno.” He began to wander down an aisle. “It kind of feels like home.”
Jay furrowed her brow. “Isn’t that… a good thing?”
Stan absentmindedly picked up a microwavable cup of noodles and sighed. “There’s a lot I haven’t told you, kid.”
Jay didn’t even have time to ponder what that meant. The heavy sound of footsteps was unmistakable. She dove back into the pocket just as the echo of boots stopped reverberating.
“Can I help you, son?”
Stan flinched, almost throwing the noodles back onto the shelf. “I was gonna pay for that!”
The man raised an eyebrow, but nothing more. He was tall and stately, wearing a bright red pullover with a white collared shirt and a tie underneath. His glasses were far too big for his face, and it only seemed to amplify his curious eyes. A small brown mustache sat snugly on his top lip.
“Rough weather outside, huh?”
“Yeah…” Stan took a small step back.
“Huh, it’s really comin’ down,” the man remarked, brushing past Stan to peer out the window. “Was just about to close up, in fact. You’re the only customer I’ve had in two hours.”
Stan’s face flushed red. Now he felt stupid. “Oh. Sorry for wastin’ your time, sir.”
The man waved his hand dismissively. “Come now.”
“Seriously, I should be going –”
“Nonsense. What are you looking for? An easy-to-make dinner before Christmas?”
“No, really, it’s okay, I–” Stan stopped, wondering if he should even bother explaining. Maybe he just had the star in his window because he thought it looked nice. But it smells too much like home to be a coincidence. Stan stole a glance at the man, who was eyeing him expectantly. “Well, I, uh, I celebrate Hanukkah, actually.”
To Stan’s surprise, the man just smiled. “I thought as much.”
“What – how did you–”
“Sometimes… you just know,” the man said with a smile too sweet to be phony. “You’ll understand one day when you’re my age.”
Stan chuckled. He couldn’t imagine himself being that old.
“I think I have just what you’re looking for,” the man said, beckoning Stan to follow him. He did, silently, shooting glances at the shelves as if something would jump out from them. He looked down when he felt a small movement in his pocket. He gave Jay a shrug before she slipped back in.
“Now, it’s a little small,” the man started, climbing up a small ladder. “And a little old, too. But I think it should do you just fine.”
Jay was too curious for her own good. She poked her head out, gawking up at the man.
“What is he doing?” she whisper-shouted, causing Stan to jump.
“I dunno! Get back in there!” he snapped, pushing her down with his fingertip. She made a muffled noise of protest, but didn’t fight back.
“Will this do?”
Stan nearly burst into tears at the sight in front of him. It was a little small, but it was also a rich, milky gold, like it had just come out of the box. On top of the center pillar was a Star of David, and the features were ornate, but timeless.
Stan took it in his hands, turning it over carefully like it was made of glass.
“It’s perfect,” he breathed.
The man smiled as he hopped down. “Good. And don’t forget this.” He motioned for Stan to open his hand, and he dropped a dreidel into his gloved palm. “Now, you better hurry on home. Wouldn’t want you getting stuck in the snow.”
Stan blinked in shock. “Are – are you sure? I have money, I swear–” He fished around his pockets. Not much came out.
“No, no, please,” the man insisted. “This wasn’t for sale, anyway. It was actually my mother’s.”
“Your mother’s – I can’t have this, then! My ma would never–”
“But mine would,” he cut him off, putting on a serious face that made Stan pause. “Besides, she owns at least 10. She won’t miss this one.”
Despite himself, Stan laughed. “Ten? Must have one big family.”
The man shook his head. “Oh, no. Just me and my brother. She just really likes her menorahs.”
“Huh.” For once, Stan was speechless.
The man began ushering Stan forward. “Go on now. It’s getting late.”
“Okay, okay,” Stan said, hurrying to the front of the store. “I, uh… thank you, sir.”
“Think nothing of it.” He smiled that sunshine smile again. “Chag sameach, and be well, son.”
Stan could only give a solemn nod on his way out; the Hebrew he learned as a child suddenly found its way to the front of his mind, but all the words were caught in his throat. He didn’t say a single word on his journey back, and Jay didn’t know what to say. Something told her silence was for the better right now.
When they finally got home, Stan felt lighter. The first thing he did after putting his new possessions down was dig into his pocket and fish Jay out. He chuckled at her half-sleeping face of confusion at the abrupt change in altitude and scenery. He forgot how weary she got in the cold.
“You follow any of that, kid?” he asked, placing her gently on the counter.
“Not a single word,” she said with a smile.
“Hah. Well, you and me both. He just… gave me these,” he said, gesturing to the two items. “And I don’t know why.”
Jay got up and padded over to the menorah, taking it all in from her vantage point. It looked fun to climb. But she was even more intrigued by the dreidel, because, shockingly, it wasn’t taller than her. She could actually pick it up and hold it – albeit, not for long.
“Hm. Maybe he was just being nice.”
“Psh.” Stan rolled his eyes. “Doubt it. Nobody’s ever that nice without a catch. Maybe there’s a camera in here or somethin’?” Stan swiped up the menorah and began inspecting it for tiny hidden gadgets.
“Stanley,” Jay chided, groaning at how ridiculous he looked. “Not everyone’s out to get you, you know.”
“That’s rich, comin’ from you,” Stan snapped, sounding angrier than he actually was. “And the governments of at least three South American countries are definitely out to get me.”
Jay blinked a few times, caught off guard by his remark. He was right – that was funny, coming from her, the person who swore up and down that strange humans are not to be trusted. It was just so peculiar to her that Stan was just as untrusting. Humans weren’t supposed to be like that.
Stan still felt on the defensive as he took off his coat. What did she know? She wasn’t even a human. Stan knew humans better than anyone. Nobody was that nice.
Right?
“What’s this?”
Jay’s innocent question brought him back to reality. She was holding up the dreidel, clearly struggling to keep it upright. Stan smiled at the sight. “That’s a dreidel, used to play a traditional Hanukkah game. Very distinguished. A classic, really.”
“What’s the game?”
Stan grinned. “Gambling!”
It didn’t take long to teach her the rules, even throwing in a quick Hebrew lesson, but they quickly learned they didn’t have anything of value to wager. It didn’t matter, though. The real entertainment came from watching her grab the little handle with both her hands and put her entire body into spinning the top. It took her a while to get the hang of it; she threw herself to the ground on the very first attempt, causing Stan to burst into laughter and Jay to rub her head in shame.
“You didn’t tell me it was going to be hard,” she blushed, trying not to sound as embarrassed as she felt.
“You – HAH! You should have seen yourself!” Stan leaned back in his chair, wiping a genuine tear from his eye after a few more laughs. “You spun more than the dreidel! HAH!”
“Not. Funny,” she grumbled, but her inability to hide her smile betrayed her.
“You’re right. It was hilarious.”
“I don’t think I like this game very much.”
“Huh. Funny. I like it more than I remember!”
“Why don’t you show me how it’s done, then,” Jay said, crossing her arms.
“Fine! I will!” Very carefully, Stan pinched the handle between his fingers and held the dreidel upright. He took a moment, marveling at how a tiny wooden top could be as tall as a living being, before snapping his fingers with all his might. Jay yelped and jumped back, surprised at the force with which the dreidel spun. She watched, mesmerized, as it went round and round and round for at least 15 seconds before it started to slow. It clattered to a stop, with a symbol that looked like a backwards C on the top.
“Aw, man! That’s nun. If we were playin’ for real, that would mean I do nothing and it’s your turn next.”
Determined not to make a fool of herself again, Jay insisted on lifting the top herself instead of having Stan put it upright for her. It took her a few tries, but she successfully got underneath and stood it back up. A few deep breaths later, and the top was spinning away.
“Woah!” Stan wasn’t expecting her to actually do it! It didn’t last long, but it definitely spun like a top, and it landed on hay. “That’s hay. You’d get half the damn pot if this was real!”
Jay beamed. “I like this game now.”
“Oh, what have I done?” Stan laughed at her tiny, smug expression. “I’m gonna turn you into a good-for-nothing gambling addict like me.”
They spun the dreidel for at least an hour, until Jay’s limbs were so tired she could barely stand. Stan remembered about the peanuts he bought at the store earlier, and that was good enough to use as a wager. When all was said and done, Jay had 13 peanuts to Stan’s seven.
“Does this mean I win?” she asked all too innocently, staring up at Stan with doe eyes.
“Don’t play dumb, kid,” Stan mumbled lightheartedly. “You know you kicked my ass.”
“Yeah I did!” She looked at the peanuts like they were made of gold. “I beat the human at his own game.”
“Watch it now. I’ll stick you on top of the fridge and forget to take you down.”
“You can’t stop me!” Jay yelled, but her teasing may have gone too far. Stan raised an eyebrow, as if to say oh, really? And before Jay could realize her mistake, she was already dangling in the air.
“Consider yourself stopped,” Stan said with a grin.
“Put me down!” she cried, thrashing her legs around.
“Hmm, let me think – nope!” He moved his hand to his shoulder and dropped her down. He had done this enough times by now to know how to be careful. “Besides, it’s latke time, and you need to watch.”
“I don’t – need to do anything,” she said, grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt as he lurched forward.
“This one’s important,” Stan said, ignoring an opportunity to be sassy. “I haven’t made Ma’s latkes in…” He trailed off. He couldn’t remember.
Jay suddenly remembered what he had said before. There’s a lot I haven’t told you. She wasn’t very good with comforting words, but she found those weren’t the best for Stan, anyway. He seemed to respond most to a gentle nudge.
“Show me how it’s done, Stanley Pines.”
Stan turned his head to his shoulder and smiled. “Alright, kiddo. Watch and learn.”
And watch and learn she did. Even if she had something to say, she would have been rendered speechless by the delicate touch Stan used to cook. Every movement had purpose; every shred of potato, every cube of butter, every shake of salt. He used a knife in ways Jay didn’t realize could be done by humans. Stan explained every step, every flick of the wrist, and he even offered to try and let Jay do something, but she refused, not warning to get in the way of his mastery. The instant those lumps of potatoes hit the pan, sizzling with a sharpness rarely heard, Jay was overwhelmed with a scent that was so otherworldly she almost began to question everything about her existence. She didn’t even know smells like this were possible. Had her whole life been this drab before?
“Like I said, Ma made these every year,” Stan said, poking the latke with a spatula. “She was a mean cook, my Ma. Always made sure to save her best for the important occasions. Like when she could show off in front of the other moms. She’d make ‘em cry if she had to.”
“She sounds… fun.”
“Fun is definitely the best way to describe her. Maybe fierce, too.” Stan let the latke settle for a few more seconds before forcing the spatula underneath it and flipping. “There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her boys.” Stan stared into the pan as if in a trance. The loud pop of food snapped him back to reality. “What about you, huh? Tiny people must have close families, right?”
“Sure, but… nothing like that.” Now it was Jay’s turn to be wistful. “I didn’t know my mom very well. Not really. Well, it’s more like I don’t really remember her.” She paused, giving Stan room to say something. He didn’t. “I’m… not sure how it is for other borrowers. Not all of them are from the forest. But we kind of… travel in packs, I guess. Clans. So I was with my family, but also ten other families. But I was – they all spent a lot of time trying to reign me in. I was kind of the problem child.”
Now Stan wanted to say something “You? A troublemaker?”
“Oh, yeah. I was… too curious for my own good.” The spaces between her words told Stan this wasn’t something to pry about. “‘S how your brother caught me in the first place. I was snooping around much too close. Closer than most borrowers even think of getting to a human. My parents kind of kept their distance from me. I gave them a bad reputation.”
A sharp pain surged through Stan’s chest. “We’ve got that in common, then,” he snorted, flipping the latke back over. “My old man wanted nothin’ to do with me. No matter what I did, it seemed like I couldn’t please him. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Now, Ford? In the eyes of my father, he could do no wrong. Poindexter was the only one worth anything to him.” Stan let the latke simmer as he reached to make another. “But hey, it only made me stronger, right? I don’t need anyone. Except you, to tell me how great these latkes are. Go ahead, try one.”
Stan had siphoned off a tiny piece and slid it to the side, placing her down right in front of it. Jay hopped off his hand, still a little freaked out at how casual she had gotten around Stan. But he had just cooked for her – really cooked. Not the microwave pasta Ford was accustomed to scarfing down only when Jay reminded him he hadn’t eaten all day. Jay was ready to make fun of Stan for being bad at this, but it was clear she wouldn’t be able to do that.
Carefully, she grabbed a strip of shredded potato and held it like a hoagie in her hands. She gave it a careful sniff first, then a tiny, tiny lick.
Stan couldn’t take it anymore. “Come on, kid! Just take a bite!”
“Okay, okay!” Jay took a deep breath, gave it one more good look, then closed her eyes and chomped down.
She was going to remember that bite for the rest of her life.
“I’ve… never had anything like this,” she said carefully, as if the food would evaporate from her fingertips. She bit off another piece, this time more like a wild animal. “I didn't… I didn’t even know food had flavors like this.”
“Hah, right, ‘cause you’ve been living off a diet of roots and sticks,” Stan said with a laugh, shoving his own forkful of latke into his mouth. His smile faded when she looked at him like she didn’t get the joke. He shuddered. “How do you even have functioning taste buds?”
“I might not,” she said, totally serious. “This is just… wow, Stanley. This is incredible.”
Stan ducked his head to hide his blush. “It’s nothin’.”
“You ate like this all the time growing up?”
“This? Not all the time. But Ma’s cooking… yeah. We ate this every day.”
Stan watched her eat like it was her first time trying food. Hell, it might as well have been. All the things Stan took for granted growing up and sorely missed now, he didn’t realize just how special it was until Jay got to experience it all for the first time. Ever since getting kicked out, he had no time to think about the luxuries of dreidel and holidays and homemade latkes. But he was slowly beginning to realize these were things he didn’t just cherish; he needed to cling to them desperately, as if any given day was his last one on Earth. There were creatures – people – out there who never even got to miss the taste of garlic and onions and butter.
And Jay showed him that every single day.
The two ate in silence, finishing up the potato pancakes in surprisingly quick fashion. Stan wordlessly refilled her water thimble and kept supplying her with more when he noticed she was running low. The only sound louder than their chewing was the snowfall outside. It was peaceful.
“Wow.” Stan decided to break the silence. “That was a hell of a meal.”
“So this is what it’s like to feel full,” Jay quipped, only half-joking.
“I used to wonder why my old man always fell asleep after dinner. Now I know why.”
“Yeah… I’m beat,” Jay yawned, stretching her arms up high in the air. Stan felt his heart flutter like he was looking at a sleeping puppy. “I… I can’t thank you enough for that, Stan. Really. It… means a lot, that you wanted to make that for me.”
Stan waved his hand dismissively. “It’s nothin’, really. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to sit in front of the TV for the rest of the night and do nothing. Whadda ya say?”
“Sure, I could go for that.” Again, like second nature, Jay hopped onto Stan’s palm when he offered it to her. She wasn’t even thinking twice about it anymore.
It turns out there wasn’t much TV to watch – the storm was so strong, the only thing they’d be watching was black and white static dance around on the screen. But it didn’t matter, because the moment Stan sank into the chair, he was out like a light.
Perfect.
He awoke a few hours later, a little delirious and a lot tired. He glanced at the clock – it was half past 10. He grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, ready to head to the bedroom, when a small movement on the floor caught his eye.
“What the…?” He blinked the sleep from his eyes, squinting hard at the floor. He expected to see a small animal, but instead it was… Jay?
It had been a while since Jay was on the floor like this, staring up at a human so far away they felt unattainable. She wasn’t scared of Stan, not really, but her instinct couldn’t be suppressed when his knee slammed down on the ground beside her, and he loomed like a mountain. A very confused mountain.
“Kid, what are you doing on the floor?” Stan draped his arm over his knee as he bent down, heart aching at her unwittingly flinching at the movement. She was tiny. “Actually, how did you even get on the floor?”
“I – I climbed down,” she stammered with a shrug. “Not important. Um…” She was suddenly overcome with embarrassment. Should she even be doing this? Would he even appreciate it? He’s probably going to think it’s so stupid!
“Spit it out, tiny,” Stan prompted. It was only then he noticed the square piece of paper she had behind her. “What is that?”
“It’s – um – you said Hanukkah was all about giving, right?”
Stan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah…” Where was she going with this?
“Well, um, I – I couldn’t stop thinking about how… how much kindness you’ve shown me. Since day one, really, after you took me out of that jar. You could have – you were well within your rights to throw me outside and tell me to scram. But you… allowed me to be warm, and fed. And I–”
“Just get to the point, kid!” At this point, Stan’s face was redder than a beet. He wasn’t used to this feeling.
“I… got you something,” she said finally, like the words had been forced out of her. “It’s not much, really, and I – I didn’t make it or anything, but it’s–”
“Gimme that,” Stan said, reaching for the paper behind her. She gawked at his arm towering so far above her and shuffled to the side as his fingers pinched the paper.
Stan instantly began to cry.
“It’s this... photo, of Ford, see? And I’m in there too, but you can’t really tell,” Jay began, wringing her hands together and actively avoiding eye contact. “He was trying to take a… picture? Of us? He said he wanted it for his collection – which I thought was a science thing, but it turns out, it was a personal thing. He gave it to me as a gift, just something for me to have, I guess, and… I thought you’d want to see it. Keep it. I dunno, it’s stupid, I’m sorry–”
“Don’t,” Stan choked out, surprised to hear his own voice crack. “It’s –” he couldn’t even get the words out. He didn’t know when this was taken, and he suspected she didn’t quite know either, but Ford was beaming, happier than Stan remembered he could get, wearing a brown sweater vest over a bright blue shirt. On the table, barely a speck in the polaroid, was Jay, looking confused. Stan laughed a wet, sobbing laugh. It was stupid. It was perfect.
“I’m glad you like it,” Jay ventured to say, taking a step closer. “Just something to remind you of… what we’re working for, here, I guess. Together.”
“Together,” Stan repeated. He sniffed a few times, scrubbing the tears from his cheeks. “Where did you even – you went all the way downstairs to get this?”
“Oh, no, it was just… I used to sleep in Ford’s room, too,” she explained timidly. She knew she was going to have to reveal this eventually. “A lot of my stuff is still in there, actually. I just got it from there.”
That seemed to get his attention. He narrowed his eyes at her, suddenly uncomfortable with the way he towered over her tiny frame. “This whole time? You’ve had all your stuff there this whole time and never told me about it?”
“I didn’t–!” She took a breath. “I didn’t… know if I could trust you.” Then she took a bold step forward. “But I know now.”
Stan didn’t know what to say, but she didn’t need him to say anything. He was surprised at how well he was able to read her movements and facial expressions from all the way down there. He was going to have a hard time admitting the person he felt closest and most connected to in over 10 years was so small that a kernel of popcorn was a three-course meal. But she had made it beyond clear that trusting a human was the hardest thing anyone could do, and Stan tended to agree. People were mean and nasty. Unforgiving. Unrelenting. Never satisfied, no matter how hard he worked. But Jay was different. The smallest actions were enough to her. She just needed to be warm. To eat, to drink, to feel safe. It had taken this long for both of them to realize that safety was confined to these four walls and the people inside them.
For the final time that night, Stan gently lowered his hand to the floor, and she climbed right on. Wordlessly, he went back to the kitchen to get the menorah, taking it into Ford’s room – his room – their room – and softly closing the door. He flicked his lighter on and reveled in the soft crackle of the flame burning the wick. He sat down on the bed, watching the fire dance lightly atop the candle, its faint glow barely illuminating the room. But it was enough.
The two fell asleep that night, watching the candle together, sitting in silence. In one hand, Jay was curled up, so snug she didn’t even care it was a human’s plan. In the other, the photo of Ford, his smile rivaling the afternoon sun, happy to be in someone’s company.
And they still had seven more days of this to cherish.
#this was very fun to write actually#a good excuse to throw some fluff in ahead of schedule#this also doesnt really fall anywhere in the timeline that barely even exists for this story#i just wanted to write a little holiday something!#a gift for you all... really#yall are the best#gravity falls g/t#g/t#giant/tiny#gravity falls#obwrites
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Not a Big Deal
Welcome to part 2 of the tickle monster au! 😁 Part 1 here <3
Lee! Sapnap yay ❤️
Warnings: swearing ✨platonic✨
Fanart of the fic at the end!
Enjoy!
~~~~~
It wasn’t just a dream. It couldn’t possibly be, because half a week later Dream continued to be tormented by the monster under his bed every night. At 12 AM on the dot Dream would be woken up by velvety tendrils teasing his poor hypersensitive body, the shadowy being to whom they belonged taunting him while staring down at him with its bright purple glare.
Dream would be forced to endure the tickly torture until the being decided it was full. Sometimes it would only tickle the blonde for an hour, sometimes three. However it never seemed to stay past 4 AM.
Dream was starting to visibly deteriorate from having his sleep interrupted nightly. Sapnap and George began to notice how quiet the taller was, how he seemed more sluggish, and of course the massive purple bags under his eyes.
When the blonde did talk to his two roommates the conversation would always inevitably devolve into Dream swearing up and down that the monster was real and George arguing back that it was simply not possible. The change in dynamic was making Sapnap anxious.
Sapnap wanted to believe it was all merely a recurring night terror, Dream was still only getting worse. Whenever Sapnap or George would even brush past the bigger man he would flinch away with a heartbreaking whimper, like his nerves were shot from whatever he experienced every night.
It was Wednesday after nearly a week that Dream snapped, shouting loudly at George while they had been bickering:
“If you don’t believe me then why don’t you see for yourself?! Spent a night in my bed, you’ll believe me then!!” Dream then stormed off to his room fuming, leaving his half-eaten bowl of cereal forgotten on the table.
George scoffed and muttered something about how Dream was being dramatic and began scrolling on his phone but Sapnap stared down the hall after the older, turning over the words in his head.
The brunette spent all day thinking over what Dream had said until he finally made up his mind. Approaching the blonde’s bedroom door, he knocked softly on the wood.
“Dream?”
“Come in.”
He turned the door handle and opened the door to see Dream staring at his monitor blankly, seemingly editing a video. “Hey Dream.”
“Hi Sap.” He croaked.
Sapnap sat on the edge of Dream’s bed, quickly crossing his legs on the mattress when the thought of the possible monster living under it itched at the back of his brain. After hesitating a moment, he finally spoke.
“I thought about what you’d said this morning,” he started, staring at his hands while he fidgeted nervously.
“Yeah? What about it?” Dream prompted, spinning around to face Sapnap.
“We can… we can swap beds tonight. I’m— I’m worried about you, and if you’re this serious about this… monster… then I’ll spend the night in your room.”
Dream looked like he was about to cry. He quickly leaped out of his chair and hugged Sapnap around the neck, startling the younger man. He blinked and gingerly wrapped his arms around the blonde.
“It’s okay Dream, it’s alright.. it’s not that big of a deal.”
At least that’s what Sapnap hoped.
~
Sapnap opened his eyes to the dimly lit ceiling of Dream’s room. He blinked blearily and turned his head to read the clock on the bedside table: 12:00 AM.
“Well what do we have here?” A deep voice purred, startling Sapnap into full awareness.
The brunette lifted his head off the pillow to look down the foot of the bed, only to see a looming shadowy blob towering above him.
“Wh-What the f-fuck???” Sapnap stuttered.
“You’re not Dream. Perhaps one of his housemates?” The creature pondered, it’s big catlike eyes never blinking as they glared hungrily at the man in the bed.
“N-No, this— this isn’t real,” Sapnap’s voice shook as he began to realize that Dream wasn’t lying— and also that he was stuck to the bed.
“Oh it’s very real,” the being purred. “In fact, allow me to show how real I am.”
Many long shadowy tentacles unfurled from the creature and crept towards Sapnap’s vulnerable body. Sapnap simply struggled and watched in terror, cursing himself for choosing to sleep shirtless.
At the first stroke against the brunette’s body, he knew he was going to die. The velvety texture of the tentacles against his bare skin sent shockwaves of tickles through his whole body, and it was intense.
“Wahahahahait!!! Wahahahait plehehehease!!!” He cackled, squirming left and right as dozens of tendrils explored his upper body. “Wehehehe cahahahan tahahahalk ahahahabout thihihihis!!”
“I’m afraid there’s nothing to talk about. Laugh for me, tickle toy~”
Unbearable tickling invaded Sapnap’s underarms and threw the poor man into hysterics. “WHAHAHAHA WAHAHAIT NOHOHOHO!!! GEHEHEHET OHOHOHOUTTA THEHEHEHERE!! FUHUHUHUCK!!”
Tears pricked the corners of Sapnap’s eyes, it was so much. Tentacles tickled his armpits, ribs and eventually his thighs ruthlessly. His chest ached with how hard he was laughing— how hadn’t he woken up Dream and George yet?
“You’re quite ticklish, and I thought Dream was sensitive!” The creature teased, his low rumbling voice worsening the electric tingles that flooded his system.
“PLEHEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAP!! FUHUHUHUCK, IHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLES!!”
~
The next morning Dream awoke feeling relieved. He hadn’t been tormented in the middle of the night, and it was refreshing to get a full uninterrupted night of sleep.
He left Sapnap’s room and headed to the kitchen, but as he walked past his door it opened and out walked a disheveled and exhausted-looking Sapnap.
The brunette looked up at Dream with bloodshot eyes, taking a long time to seemingly process the man in front of him, before finally he spoke.
“We need a fucking exorcist or some shit.”
~~~~~
#sean’s tickle fics#seany’s tword art#lee!sapnap#sapnap fanart#sapnap#tickle monster#tickle fic#myct fanart#myct tickle#dream#georgenotfound
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ray tpn is autistic and i'm gonna tell you why now
ray is one of the most heavily autistic-coded characters i can think of, and i've been wanting to write up a post going over as many of his autistic mannerisms as i can because there is a lot. this will probably be long because i am also autistic and i am especially autistic about ray, so please enjoy while i psychoanalyze this anime boy with way more scrutiny than anyone would consider healthy <3
body language
perhaps one of the strongest arguments for ray's autism can be made by looking at his body language. ray tries to keep a stoic, neutral expression and voice the majority of the time (though he's often quite. bad at that too) but he is always extremely expressive through his movements and gestures, the most noticeable of which being the use of his hands. pretty much every character uses hand gestures, but ray is ridiculously excessive. it'd take frankly way too long to compile every instance of this (or even half) throughout the manga, so here's a small collection of gestures from s1 of the anime to give an idea:
note that this is not even close to all of them and that he's exactly like this in the manga as well, though the animation and its use of snappy, exaggerated movements does help to make these much more noticeable.
moving away from his hands there's also just a lot of really expressive full-body language as well, such as this friendly chokehold:
this dramatic shrug:
and this even more dramatic flop:
just to name a few. basically, ray has a thing for grand unnecessary movements and no one is surprised.
poor emotional regulation and masking
as i mentioned before, ray tries really really hard to bottle up his emotions and keep a sort of stoic persona during his time at gracefield. he's also really really bad at doing this. not terrible, as he was able to keep up a believable enough front that none of the other kids saw anything odd about his behavior for 6 years, but that's also because he deals with so much more stress once the events of the escape arc actually get going. there is a stark difference between his quiet and detached demeanor while emma and norman are still in the dark about the house, and him nearly having a meltdown every time something strays from his meticulously crafted plans while they actually begin making their preparations to escape over the course of the arc.
just a few examples of this include him nearly having a breakdown when emma insists on taking everyone:
or one of my favorite anime exclusive moments where he strains his voice while yelling at isabella to the point he breaks into a coughing fit:
and it's not just big flashy meltdowns, but little bursts of anger as well. shoutout to this moment in particular where he launches this bucket with enough force to tear up a bit of the damn ground:
this emotional instability can be seen after the escape as well, the most glaring example being how he interacts with yuugo:
their dynamic in general really does a good job of showing ray’s mental state after the escape, because pre-goldy pond yuugo is An Asshole. and ray is so, so easy to piss off and quite frankly tired from bottling up his emotions for so long that every interaction with said asshole is a massive struggle to keep himself from physically attacking him.
as for the topic of masking, that’s what ray’s attempts to hide his emotions feel like to me. ray is constantly in danger of losing isabella’s trust, whether that be by revealing he may be a little more attached to the other kids than he lets on or by showing too much emotion that the other kids start to wonder what the hell’s going on. ray has to constantly hide and cover up his emotions with more palatable ones for others out of fear of looking out of place or being seriously hurt, and well if that doesn’t just describe autistic masking to a tee i don’t know what does.
maybe one of the things that gets me the most about that is that he's essentially been masking for about half of his life, and doing that for any extended period of time is extremely draining. ray has been drained to the point that he will have full meltdowns when put under any sort of stress and when you take into account the fact that he already has pretty severe anger issues as a result of his trauma, it's really no wonder he has such a short fuse.
lack of a filter when speaking
ray is a very blunt person. he speaks matter-of-factly and he wastes no time in getting straight to his point, sometimes with only a single sentence:
the way he talks is also pretty significant, as he generally has a more monotone way of speaking. he really only yells when he gets really worked up which like i said, happens a lot, but there’s almost no inbetween for him. pre-escape, he tries to show as little emotion in his voice as possible outside of his outbursts.
as for post-escape ray, he does seem to show much more emotion in the way he speaks. its a bit harder to judge, as nothing past the escape arc was ever adapted into the anime (s2 isnt real it cant hurt you) but his facial expressions become much more varied and it’s easy to say his vocal inflections likely do as well. however, what we can say for sure is that he remains just as blunt as ever:
no matter how comfortable he becomes with expressing himself, this aspect of his speech never seems to change.
while we’re on the topic of his speaking mannerisms please also direct your attention to these panels:
these need no explanation.
sensory issues. so many sensory issues
briefly moving back to the subject of ray’s hands, i couldn’t help but notice during my countless s1 rewatches that they are almost never just resting at his sides. if he's not using his hands for unnecessary gestures they are either shoved into his pockets, or he's crossing his arms. it's very likely his arms default to these positions because they offer a sort of sense of security, the former keeping his hands covered and the latter keeping him more closed off, almost like he's constantly hugging himself. basically, ray is a 'likes to feel covered and secure' autistic and if he was buried in weighted blankets he'd probably love it.
also tying into the ‘likes to feel covered’ aspect of ray’s autism is this scarf he acquires sometime during the volume 12 timeskip:
it’s a well known autistic thing to get attached to articles of clothing and wear them as much as possible, and boy does ray get attached to this scarf. i can count 2 post-timeskip scenes off the top of my head that have him not wearing this scarf, and the image on the right takes place a full 2 years after the left one in canon. he has no explicitly stated emotional attachment to this scarf and we don’t even know how he got it, just that he almost never takes it off. it could easily be seen as a comfort item, maybe he just likes the way the fabric feels or the extra coverage it offers him. there is post-canon content that depicts him without it, but the fact that he wore it almost nonstop for at least 2 years straight is still pretty significant.
another sensory thing i feel is worth mentioning is that ray seems to have a very specific tolerance threshold for physical contact. he seems fine initiating touch himself, and touches from emma and norman are generally alright, likely because they are the only people he has openly allowed himself to be close with his entire life. sudden touches from others however, are a different story. the one that immediately comes to mind is this interaction with don:
don in particular is someone ray becomes pretty close to, and i would say that besides the obvious growth with emma and norman, don is likely the person we see the most development with with in terms of their relationship. him having this reaction to a hug from someone he’s so close to seems indicative of some issues with unexpected contact.
and finally one of my absolute favorite things the anime added, which is ray experiencing what looks a lot like sensory overload:
this takes place right after the argument with isabella, which ended with him being knocked to the floor and locked up in a room by himself, so its needless to say that he’s pretty shaken up. he gets so overwhelmed that all he can do is yell and desperately reach for any sort of stimulation to keep him grounded, curling in on himself and aggressively ruffling up his hair. i genuinely cannot think of an allistic explanation for this scene.
and basically, he is just so autistic
all in all, theres some pretty damn solid evidence for ray being autistic and whether it was intentional or not, the sheer amount of autism-coding present in ray’s writing is almost impossible to ignore. i love some good projection but i don’t even need to do that much, hes just doing this all on his own. in conclusion:
#skye's ramblings#WELL. IT TOOK ABT AN ENTIRE DAY BUT HERE IT IS. READ MY ESSAY BOY#thank god for tublrs extended image limit am i right. had to switch to my laptop a third of the way through so it would let me add more <3#and small shoutout to @fullscoreshenanigans for telling me how to make the gifs HGFGKJD#anywyay i had fun w this ray is so dear to me didyou know i love ray. ray#i am going to do something wild (putting a non-art post in the main tags) so hi tpn fandom i talk a lot. here's autism#the promised neverland#tpn#yakusoku no neverland#tpn ray
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Hey cas, i just need to rant
I'm crying rn and i need to tell someone this
Ok this is a stupid way to start this but my duolingos nit working. Fine not a big deal. I went and told my mom and she didnt even let me show it to her and told me to get my dad to help me bc she doesnt know how. So later when my dad was awake i told him the problem and she was there. My dad was trying to figure it out and she asked if she could see my phone. The thing is whenever she asks to see my phone to fix something i end up seeing something and realising i might know how to fix it so i ask if i can have it back to try the thing and sge always yells at me and rips my phone out of my hand and says i have no right to touch it because its not really my phone. So i asked her what she was going to do on it because i think I've tried everything and i don't think it's going to help especially if shes not the one talking to the support people (my dad was). She got mad and said to stop complaining and give her the phone i calmly explained what i just did hiw when she tries to help it isn't helpful and it always ends in fights because she never allows my input (very calmly like i was literally just explaining my thought process and why i think it would do more bad than good) she interuppted my yelling and said that if when people ask to help me and i just call them mean and whatever then people aren't going to want to happen (side note the difference is everyone else who offers me help i am allowed to say no and choose wether or not to explain why as well) and then said if i dont accept help graciously then i don't deserve anything. (I have bad mental health and she knows that to an extent) so now im crying
And i KNOW if i were to bring this up in the future she would say "i dont remember that. That didnt happen. Youre making that up"
Every time i try to communicate how im feeling and why i feel that some things she does or says may be hurtful and damaging she takes it as a personal attack. I've been trying to get better at communicating my needs and feeling but everytime i do she makes me feel like im doing something wrong.
Sometimes i get so overwhelmed I'll start crying out of nowhere or yell or something and she'll either say im being dramatic or literally laugh in my face.
Thank you and sorry for punctuation and spelling mistakes i probably made a ton
Hi!
I can relate to this SO much, omg. My mom is just like this, and it makes you feel so crazy, right?
Please know you have a right to your feelings and if you communicated the way you say you did, you did nothing wrong! Unfortunately it sounds like your mom has some things to work out about not taking things personally.
As someone who also deals with this, I have to say that sometimes picking your battles is key. While in a healthy relationship, sharing your feelings is super important, with a relationship like this, it could just make things worse. So a lot of times I just ask myself- 'is it worth the potential fallout?' sometimes, if it's something really hurtful, it is. But sometimes, I just let her make stupid decisions. SO like in this case, maybe next time you could give her your phone, let her realize she can't help, and then move on to whatever the next step is. Because she's probably not going to listen to you, you know?
It sucks to have to think like this, especially as the child in the relationship, but it might be reality.
Sending love! Naming you duolingo anon
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Have you gone over your interpreted dynamics that Magolor, Susie and Taranza may have with each other? (asking for 1-on-1 each, so three dynamics total)
My apologies if you've gone over them already, I just don't recall.
I have not!
In fact, I don't think I've done many character + character dynamics, so please, everyone interested, I request you send me even more combos! (Must...clean all this angst...off my dashboard...!)
Now then! Onto the dynamics!
-
Magolor + Susie
[Continued Below]
These two are possibly my favorite dynamic-holders of the Wave 3 gang! You've got your classic red oni blue oni except that Magolor is the exuberant one and Susie is the (slightly) more reserved!
Magolor is interested in ancient tech for its ability to make his dreams come true. Susie is interested in turning it INTO something that can be used to make dreams come true. Re-use vs repurpose.
And I think that old tech > new tech disparity would be at the center of their dealings with each other. (Frankly, everyone in the cast is "old tech" compared to Susie but someone has to be at the top XD)
Susie operates on a planetary scale: "How can my (father's) company be used to make things better?" whereas Magolor is very "I will make a thing that people will come to from all over to feel better!"
They're so near to each other's way of thinking but fundamentally different in a few ways that means they don't quite see eye to eye. But I think they can absolutely get involved in long drawn out discussions that involve lots of "Yes! And...!"
Clash indicates to us that Magolor DOES find Susie somewhat pesky. I can't help but wonder if part of that comes from a (potentially incorrect) assumption that Susie must have had EVERYTHING she ever wanted while Magolor had to dig around in the dirt of Halcandra alone for X number of years hoping to find a magic theme park building doohickey amongst the wreckage. (We know Susie's childhood was anything but ideal but HE doesn't.)
I guess DX josses the idea that the two of them met while Magolor was wandering AD, which is a shame as that was a very neat headcanon, but even if they had, I always assumed it would have been a neutral/short-lived partnership. Not enough to dramatically change their feelings toward one another.
...I also think that Susie will be constantly looking for opportunities to opportunities to turn the Lor Starcutter pink (which it wouldn't necessarily mind, but Magolor is vehemently against!) So, yeah, I would say "great collaborators when they're working together but not all the time, and Magolor is usually the one to snap first."
-
Susie + Taranza
I've said I only "ship" one ship in this fandom, and that's true, but I am also guilty of thinking, "Susie/Taranza kinda makes sense, right?"
I mean, he very much seems to be preparing himself to flirt (?) with her in the Star Allies opening sequence. He's looking for a new queen to worship, and would Susie find that so awful, really...?
Not that I want to characterize Taranza as a pitiful loser simp-type for her, so I think it would be nice if they approached each other on more equal terms. In this case, I would think that their dynamics come from a shared appreciation for beautiful things.
If you were to stick all three in one living space, Susie and Taranza would be the neat freaks, making sure everything is organized (and laid out in an aesthetically pleasing fashion too!) meanwhile Magolor lives on half-finished energy drinks and sleeps on the floor. XD
They are also, obviously, notable for being the two major characters in the modern games to have lost a loved one on-screen in a big Kirby game event. They really should be allowed to use this to bond.
And I'd like to think they have.
So they're kind of low-key get along. Nothing bombastic - they don't set the world on fire with how good they get along, but you're not too surprised when you see them out shopping together either.
-
Taranza + Magolor
I have a LOT of thoughts about the wizards. (In fact, I keep creating backstories for these two, because despite there being a few dedicated fans of this ship, I don't see a whole lot of people dig into Magolor having a shared backstory with Tara and Secty?!)
Despite that, my feelings on them tend to change depending upon how important I find giving them a potential backstory together. Because when on screen they feel very... neutral? They don't have the dynamism of Magolor and Susie's potential clashes, nor the obvious "lonely spider seeks confident beautiful queen" of Taranza and Susie.
Clash!Taranza sits on Magolor's shoppe, chilling out, and that is... really the best way I can describe them? They are very chill.
The concept of them talking deep magic with each other is interesting, but Taranza is a follower type of character. Someone who needs someone to be a catalyst before he will go off.
Magolor could be that for him, but I think Magolor needs to get in over his head first before he will go to Taranza for assistance.
Having said that, I think that what these two have over the other Wave 3 pair dynamics is the highest level of TRUST.
I once read a Japanese doujin about Magolor that was, frankly, even more depressing than MY most depressing works (if you know, you know, but I'm not linking it) but there was a moment when Magolor talks to Taranza about a serious issue and watching the two talk serious to each other (interspersed with some moments of comic melodrama from Taranza) was utterly FASCINATING~
I don't think they become their "true" selves to each other often, but I think that when they do talk about srs business, they are two of the strongest characters in the whole cast to do so...! (Which is probably why I would never "ship" them in the classical sense? I don't see them as going out on dates or sharing the same dessert or coffee shop stuff. When they are at their "closest" they are discussing forbidden history or the skeletons in their prospective closets....)
So, on the surface? They have a very vanilla friendship with nothing to stand out. But these two COULD (if they wanted to) get up to stuff so cursed it would drive even Marx from the room.
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Do think Faye and natasia knew about Erebus being the shadow king. I would like see more about warlocks and more dragons do think still exist and maybe like have humans forms I do think Mariah has more family
[spoilers for legendborn and bloodmarked, read at your own caution ;)] hehe happy to see ya again anon!!
i am not really sure because i feel like the shadow king killed erebus recently?? like after he found out his descendant has infiltrated the order so I think it came after that. and I really think bree is the only one who figured out that "the hunter", "the great devourer" and "the shadow king" are the same because before that the ancestors didn't really have time to share experiences, they just warned the next kin about the dangers of using too much root. and it wasn't until valec revealed the bloodmark on bree that anyone ever saw exactly why there's a root furnace, so yeah I don't think they knew exactly but given natasia's connection to the shadow king she might've thought about it but there's really no big reason how or why she would think so at all. even if the description does match the shadow king she could've pondered upon the possibility maybe. but like now, in oathbound, after sel was left with natasia I think she will now connect the two and two together??
omggg yesss dragons dragons dragonssss and ofc warlocks, the one we met at the crossroads bar had a very dramatic scene and I feel like he's definitely gonna keep a grudge with bree. maybe the word has spread about a certain black girl with a guy who looks like he's dressed for Halloween, whose hobby is to strip warlocks or their powers. maybe bree's gonna face some resistance, because in the oathbound excerpt the shadow king took her to a cambion and he was not pretty welcoming at all, warlocks might have the same response. the dragonsss i have a feeling that our dragon king is going to kill the shadow king, in the fourth book obviously there's no way this ends in oathbound, but even before that we might get a dragon scene because comon that scene was just gloriousss
i do think the shadow king must also have a form he shapeshift to as animals for easy mobility or something. it could potentially be a dragon but i don't see much possibility of it because like arthur was called pendragon and bree's a dragon so there's that, shadow king is called the hunter and shit so dragons might be a possibility but not the only one. if the shadow king does have a form i feel like crow or raven is the most obvious one but it could also lean more towards . . . owls. more specifically, eagle owl?? (see why i said that hehe) but yeah given the ongoing theory that shadow king could be sel and valec's dad, i feel like his form could be an own. an eagle owl. and I'm excited to see it ngl. like he can already shapeshift into people he kills (I'm curious to the mechanism of this too, like why does he have to kill them?? is it to like take their souls and tie them in a unfair deal or like there are no two persons accidentally at the same time or is there an unwritten rule and that you gotta kill the person to shapeshift into them?? can merlins do that too, since they're already shapeshifting into animals, but like they're said to only have one animal to shapeshift so it seems kinda hard. nvm) so his animal form could have more choices or it could just be one, easy to shift into and good to transport or spy.
mariah's family could play a role in oathbound if bree yk like meets up with her sometime, like maybe halfway through the book. her rootcrafter family would definitely be one way to introduce us more to bree's rootcrafting abilities and their uses because hey it has healing abilities, and bree has unlimited root furnace, do you see what I see?? she's basically indestructible with healing if she learns to properly wield her rootcrafting powers. it's a possibility and I hope its introduced more because like on one hand it'd be difficult to manage maintaining aether constructs and healing your wounds but on the other hand can you imagine the shock William would get when he sees bree just casually holding up her shield and her mage flame healing the slash on her side. haha just amazinggg and we've already seen mage flame cleaning up the shadowborn gunk off her hands (graveyard scene, legendborn) so yeah the possibilities could be explored. and also, free immunity from that healing forever, like yk alice mesmer resisting abilities?? she gained them after being healed by bree's root I feel like this could be done more, as like a line of defense for everyone on team bree so they can't be interrogated or soemthing.
i kinda went off the rails here lmaoo but okay imma stop now bbyee
#thoughts im boutta scream#i really be ranting my heart out around here lmaoo#i feel like i gotta do a theories post soon#there are some very interesting theories i saw too#really need to reblog them all#the legendborn cycle#legendborn#bloodmarked#oathbound#tracy deonn#legendborn cycle#bree matthews#team bree#selwyn kane#nick davis#william sitterson#alice chen#natasia kane#faye matthews
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hi, can i request peaky blinders reaction to reader coming out? i'm doing mine today and i'm kinda scared of my friends' reactions :( feel free to ingore my ask if you don't feel comfortable writing it!
Aw hey! First of all I'm sorry i think u sent this last week? Im only just seeing it!!!
I hope your coming out went well and that your friends showed u all their love and support. (u have all my love and support)
I'm bi, but i never had an official coming out I just sorta awkwardly would say gay shit in conversations until people just accepted that i was queer haha.
Tommy
🌿 You've been close with Tommy for a little while, working at Shelby Company Limited. He took a shine to you in a way neither of you really understand... Anyway the point is you feel like you can trust him, and because of that you feel guilty for keeping this a secret
🌿 You're so nervous to tell him and actually he's been thinking you've been being odd all day. You keep looking at him funny, like youre about to say something, like youre really thinking about saying something... But you haven't said anything yet and its beginning to worry him
🌿 So when he feels your eyes on him again he doesnt even look up, he just carries on writing, "alright y/n i can tell youve somet to say so why dont you just say it eh... What is it? You have a problem with how I spoke to Lizzy earlier? You don't like Michael? You think am dealing with these Italians incorrectly? Come on what is it?"
🌿 You're completely stunned and your heart starts racing in a panic as you stumble your way through "what? No i mean... You were pretty harsh on her weren't you but... Wait Michael? What? And I... I don't know how i think you should be... Why would I have an opinion on..." your cheeks are burning as you realise youre losing control of your voice, getting flustered and making a fool of yourself, but worse than that, Tommys looking at you with a smirk on his lips, leaning back in his chair, hands folded over one another on the desk.
🌿 Tommy probably already knows what youre going to tell him, because he has eyes everywhere, and because he himself is observant. Hes seen the way you look at women/men... He knows what you are but he doesn't care. He just wants you to tell him so that he can tell you he doesn't care, that it doesnt effect the way he thinks of you. That you'll always be welcome at the Shelbys.
🌿 Just because he knows doesnt mean he's going to take your moment from you, he doesnt know why but he feels its probably something you need to say out loud, to him, no interruptions. Your sexuality might not be a thing that concerns him or even really interests him but he understands it as an important thing for you, something you need to feel confident taking ownership of... So he just waits quietly.
🌿 When you finally say it he sits quietly still, he nods his head, he lets you believe that this is news to him, he doesnt tell you he already knew.
🌿 "Well," he says calmly, "I'm glad you've got that off your chest y/n, and am touched that you trust me with this information..." he's a little awkwardly formal about it, because he doesnt want to make a big scene or embarass you, but he doesnt want to make you think he isnt bothered...
🌿 "You know who you love, thats your business and nobody elses, and I know the world doesnt understand that yet, but I do, and my family do, and youll always be welcome where the Shelby family are concerned... Youre part of this family y/n, this doesn't change that... "
🌿 Youd feel so relieved and also so loved and accepted. Youre glad Tommy didn't get too dramatic about it, youd been worried he'd get angry at you for having kept it a secret so long... But his calm presence was reassuring and you feel secure.
Alfie
🐻 Alfies noticed you've not been yourself for a few weeks now, hes getting worried about you because you seem much more nervous and mousy than you used to be... He's worried something bad has happened to you that youre trying to hide from him.
🐻 So he calls you into his office one day, gets you where you can't escape him (because every time hes tried to talk to you recently youve managed to avoid a real conversation and ducked away from him)
🐻 You feel like youre in trouble whenever he calls you into his office but you feel worse just now because you probably are in trouble. You can't stop thinking about this big secret youve been hiding. It isn't fair, it shouldn't have to be a secret. Other people don't have to hide when they fall in love...
🐻 Alfie is wearing his usual frown, he looks mean, grumpy, intimidating. "Alright y/n treacle I think you an me need to have a little talk yeah... Just a little one don't worry don't worry i won't keep you long... Know youve probably got somewhere to rush off to, thats all you seem to do these days... Rush off places... Run away from me... Feel like we haven't had a proper conversation in weeks and well you know me... Miserable old sod, spend all me time on me own... Been starting to miss you haven't I treacle so..."
🐻 Youve always been so impressed by the way Alfie can talk and talk and talk his enemies into a nervous sweat but you arent really feeling appreciative of it just now. Actually youre beginning to sweat yourself. Now youee sure you're in trouble.
🐻 But youre not. And Alfie doesnt know... Even though you think he must know, he doesnt have a clue. His concern is completely genuine. He thinks his friend is hiding something, some kind of trouble, and he wants to help you if he can...
🐻 "So come on then treacle, why don't you tell your old pal Alf just what's goin on.. Why ain't you stopping by anymore? Why am I missin you?"
🐻 You think about lying to him but only breifly because you know he will be able to tell.
🐻 And when you do tell him your voice is shaking and you're convinced he's going to turn on you, be digusted, all the negative thoughts youve had about yourself bubble to the surface and you can barely keep it together...but
🐻 He just does a big sigh of relief and youre just looking back at him confused.
🐻 "Well i must say treacle I'm a little relieved..." "W.. What... Alfie I just... That was so hard to tell you and youre... Youre relieved? Why are you relieved? This is..."
🐻 "What? This is what exactly treacle? I hope you aren't going to say bad cause well, you and me both know that that, well that just ain't true is it..."
🐻 He'd give you a whole speech about how you shouldn't think badly of yourself, that your sexuality is completely valid, love is love ect, "its a miserable old world we're doomed to live in, why deny yourself the one joy god gave us eh..."
🐻 "You know I've been worrying about you treacle, i thought something really bad had happened to you... Thought you were caught up in some bad shit... Italians or peaky boys shit you know? But this... Well... Treacle I'm happy for you..." "You're happy for me?" you look back at him a little dumbfounded, still a little shocked hes taking it so well.
🐻 "Thats right, I'm, thats me Alfie yeah, Im happy for you, thats you y/n l/n... I'm happy that you've found some understanding, and I hope that you can find some happiness and peace and... And i hope you stop lookin so worried all the time... Come on, cmere, give your old pal a hug,"
🐻 You're getting bear hugged to hell and back.
Arthur
🍂 I'm not going to lie, Arthur would be confused at first... As in not, what do you mean why are you gay? But more, i don't understand, why are you telling me that?
🍂 Really really tries to say the right thing, says the wrong thing.
🍂 He'd get so flustered because he knows this is a big and important thing you've told him and he needs to say exactly the right thing to show he loves and supports you...
🍂 But he's terrible with words and even though he's trying really hard it's all coming out wrong and he's getting embarassed and confusing himself, tripping over his words and stuff.
🍂 But its lowkey endearing seeing him trying so hard for you, thats always been how you've known arthur cares about something or someone because he gets embarrassed whenever he has to show it.
🍂 He'd tell you that if anyone else doesnt accept you or says anything "homowhatsit" about you, you tell him their name and he'll sort them out. No ones gonna bother you about this.
🍂 He'd end up just giving up, giving you a hug with one of those awkward male clap on the backs, then he'd ask you why you chose to tell him this and not "someone smart like Ada" and when you tell him its because he's your best friend and you needed him to know first he's very touched, gets embarassed all over again. Secretly very proud.
🍂 Probably waits until you've come out to Ada and then goes to her to ask her what he should have said. She laughs at him, tries to tell him he probably said the right things in his own way, but he insists he has to say it properly. So she practices with him and lets him rehearse it with her..
🍂 Then when he tries to take you asside and tell you it all over again he does exactly the same thing as before and messes up all head in hands "sorry love I'm so fuckin stupid with words an you know all this... Feelins like.."
John
🌼 If you're a lass he's definitely making the "what you mean you don't fancy me then? Thought that was the whole basis of our friendship..." joke which makes you roll your eyes and knock him with your elbow.
🌼 If youre a lad, "and youre telling me this because naturally you're in love with me eh...knew it nobody can resist the..." youd cut him off with a shove and a shut up and then he'd laugh and say sorry
🌼 "only messin mate..." as he puts an arm around your shoulder.
🌼 He'd be very supportive of your coming out but he wouldn't want to treat it like it was too "serious" or really acknowledge the dangers it posed to you.
🌼 He wouldn't want to talk to you about those dangers or think about them because deep down he'd be incredibly worried for you and his mind would be working over time to think how he can protect you.
🌼 He'd probably start spending more time with you and you'd end up jokingly reiterating the fact that you don't fancy him he should leave you alone
🌼 But he'd be like "used to spend this much time with you, nothins changed don't be daft"
🌼 Wants to meet any man/woman you start seeing so he can vet them and make sure theyre good enough for you
Bonnie
🍀 Being your best friend he's very in tune with you and he's quite sensitive to a change in your mood or behaviour.
🍀 He's kind of always suspected you might not be straight because its always the girls that seem to get you shy and not the lads. When you're with him and the other lads you're confident and you speak your mind but when one of the pretty girls joins you get quiet, he's caught you starring so many times...
🍀 And so when you tell him he's really really really happy because he's been waiting for so long for you to realise who you are and stop being scared or ashamed of it. He was worried for a long time that you'd keep it secret your whole life and make yourself miserable.
🍀 Literally, youre shaking with nerves and hes just sat there grinning like a stupid little boy on christmas. He can't wipe the smile off his face and why should he? He's so happy for you and so proud of you.
🍀 "Brilliant, thats brilliant, youre a wee star! Brilliant..." you get shy and remind him you havent actually found a girlfriend yet but he completely ignores that point. "Yeah but you will soon won't you youre a heartbreaker in the makin i reckon..."
🍀 He'll get even more protective now when lads hit on you because he knows for certain their advances arent welcome. And once other people start to find out, if anyone says anything, to your face or behind your back Bonnie has the temper to knock them down and make sure they never say anything again.
🍀 He wants to meet anyone youre interested in, hes always trying to wingman you... Just wants you to be happy!
🍀 If he thinks you're crushing on someone he'll tease you about it so badly!
Isaiah
🐀Similar to John, if you're a girl, he's going to make that joke. If you're not and you say he's not your type hes actually going to be a bit offended. Its really going to wound his stupid ego and he'll have to try not to sulk about it.
🐀He obviously isnt making said jokes to belittle or not take you seriously, its friendly teasing, he wants to put you at ease and make you laugh.
🐀 He knows what its like to be a minority though, to have something people treat him like "less" for. So he's empathetic and will stand by you no matter what. He'll make sure you know that it doesn't make you a bad person, that its not you thats the problem.
🐀He knows youre worried about what other people will think so he tells you, "doesn't matter what other people think are gonna think, first thing people see when they see a peaky blinder, is a peaky fuckin blinder..."
🐀Will try to talk to you about women as if he was talking to a lad... Which is embarassing as hell for you and makes you visibly squirm... Which he finds very funny.
🐀He's actually really proud that you chose to tell him first and he gives you advice on how to tell everyone else... Honestly none of its that good, most of it sounds silly or embarrassing...
Michael
☘️ Honestly out of all the blinders i get toxic masculinity/homophobic vibes from Michael the most because he's the only one who hasn't experienced growing up as some kind of prejudiced against person BUT
☘️ I think he'd change for and because of you... See any snide comments he'd ever made, any judgemental things he'd said, he wouldnt ever have thought they were hurting his friend!
☘️ You're genuinely terrified to tell him and jt probably slips out in the messiest way possible... He says something about someone else being an *f slur and you very sharply counter with "whats so bad about that... Dont see how its any of your business is it..."
☘️ He'd get defensive and youd argue about it and when he tries to turn it on you with a "Don't see how its any of your business what i think of..." "Because thats me you're talking about! Every fucking time you say something like that you're hurting me Michael!"
☘️ Teary explanation and him immediately going quiet, guilty, he didn't realise and he feels terrible for hurting you like that.
☘️ It might take him a day but he'd apologise to you, he'd tell you that he might not understand but he wants to be there for you, it doesnt make you a bad person, nothing could stop him from loving and caring about you... He will probably really uncomfortably admit that its his problem and not yours
☘️ And then he'll be your biggest cheerleader and defender, he'll support you as best he can, he'll become a better less judgemental person, driven to become kinder because of you and realising how wrong he was before.
☘️ It will take time but even in the awkward beginning he wont let you doubt his love/care for you as a friend.
☘️ "You're still my best friend y/n you always fuckin will be and nothings gonna change that, and anyone... Anyone at all ever says any of that shit I used to come out with, to you or about you, I'll fuckin kill em..."
☘️ The way hes suddenly the fastest to shoot down other peoples homophobia. If he sees Isaiah or someone else laugh at a homophobic joke he'll shove/hit them to shut them up.
☘️ He can tell when you're crushing on someone and will be fucking brutal about making you talk to that person. Coming up to you at parties and lightly bullying you into flirting with them.
☘️ "You going to stand here staring whistfully at them all night or are you gonna grow up and talk to them?"
#bonnie gold x reader#peaky blinders imagines#tommy shelby x reader#arthur shelby x reader#john shelby x reader#peaky blinders headcanon#alfie solomons x reader#peaky blinders imagine
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